Originally posted by LMcD
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Ah - the dilemma of horns, eh? -
Looking forward to Radio 4 extra repeats of Educating Archie.Comment
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Maybe the Royal Court will now revive Archie Rice.My life, each morning when I dress, is four and twenty hours less. (J Richardson)Comment
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Has he got any hair, or is he still Archiebald?Comment
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While on vacation in Spain with my wife, I I started to feel funny. I had some pain in my chest and felt short of breath. I chalked it up to the long day we had just had, but I continued to feel worse. As we got out of the taxi and walked into the hotel, I collapsed.
It became apparent to my wife and me that I was having a heart attack. I thought for sure I would die because the nearest hospital was 1/2 hour away. Suddenly from the back room came a woman wielding defibrillators. She shouted to the other staff to help and they ripped off my shirt and restarted my heart right there in the hotel.
The ambulance arrived 20 minutes later, but thanks to this amazing woman my life had been saved. I spent the night in the hospital but I got out around noon the next day. I went back to the hotel to thank this woman.
I said, “I’m amazed that a hotel this small has a full time doctor as skilled as yourself!”
She replied, “No one expects the Spanish Inn physician.”I keep hitting the Escape key, but I'm still here!Comment
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Originally posted by Vox Humana View Post^
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]Comment
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HIGNFY - No Heidi hi tonight.Comment
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I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'.
I said: 'Inch-high knees?'
He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高’“Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor StravinskyComment
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Just had two police officers at my front door.
They asked me the following questions.
'Are you familiar with the letters HB'?
I said, 'No i'm not'
'How about LS'?
'No'
'What about JD'?
I said, hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something'?
They said, No these are just initial enquiries'.“Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor StravinskyComment
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Danny Baker's big mistake was not using AA instead of the chimpanzee!Originally posted by Bryn View PostComment
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Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
I'd love to hear you tell that one.
(Talking of jokes that probably work best when written...)
"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Donald Trump was on a walkabout in a crowd. A guy broke through the cordon and tried to punch him. One of the security guys jumped up and shouted 'Mickey Mouse'. The other security guys dragged the man away. Trump says what's the score with you, shouting 'Mickey Mouse? The guy says 'Sorry, I meant to shout Donald, duck!'Comment
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