Current favourite jokes

[oddoneout]

I'm highly strung - I need the company!

Pastime optional?

[Serial_Apologist]

Pastime optional?

No, but I am intending getting my eyes tested some day.

[LezLee]

One of my favourite jokes of all time, can't remember where I saw it:

René Descartes and his missus were having a dinner party but had saved some small snacks for after midnight. At around 11.30pm, René spotted a waiter going round the guests with a tray of the snacks. He quickly scribbled a note which he dispatched to the waiter. It read:

"I think they're for 1am "

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

One of my favourite jokes of all time, can't remember where I saw it:

René Descartes and his missus were having a dinner party but had saved some small snacks for after midnight. At around 11.30pm, René spotted a waiter going round the guests with a tray of the snacks. He quickly scribbled a note which he dispatched to the waiter. It read:

"I think they're for 1am "

[cloughie]

One of my favourite jokes of all time, can't remember where I saw it:

René Descartes and his missus were having a dinner party but had saved some small snacks for after midnight. At around 11.30pm, René spotted a waiter going round the guests with a tray of the snacks. He quickly scribbled a note which he dispatched to the waiter. It read:

"I think they're for 1am "

Will?

[Richard Tarleton]

Just got there - was up at 0400 to lead a Dawn Chorus guided walk, and as a result am a bit slow on the uptake today

[Serial_Apologist]

Just got there - was up at 0400 to lead a Dawn Chorus guided walk, and as a result am a bit slow on the uptake today

You thought you were, therefore you were!

[Richard Tarleton]

You thought you were, therefore you were!

That's finished me off completely.

[Vox Humana]

You thought you were, therefore you were!

[sgjames]

A door to door salesman is working a particular street. He comes to a particular house and rings the doorbell. After a long delay the door is opened by a young boy. However, the boy is wearing a dress, high heels, a wig and makeup. After getting over the suprise of seeing this, the salesman begins his pitch:

'Hello young man. Is your mother or father at home?'

The boy looks up at the man and replies:

'What do you fucking think?'

[Serial_Apologist]

A door to door salesman is working a particular street. He comes to a particular house and rings the doorbell. After a long delay the door is opened by a young boy. However, the boy is wearing a dress, high heels, a wig and makeup. After getting over the suprise of seeing this, the salesman begins his pitch:

'Hello young man. Is your mother or father at home?'

The boy looks up at the man and replies:

'What do you fucking think?'

Reminds me of the following joke:

A travelling salesman is doing door-to-door research into contraceptive methods. On ringing one doorbell, a very tall woman answers. "Yes?" she says. "Oh, madam, I'm doing an investigation into people's use of contraceptives. I'm wondering if you would feel able to answer a few questions". "Oh", replies the woman, "My husband and I use the biscuit tin method". "The biscuit tin method?" the man exclaims. "Yes, well, you see, my husband is a very short man, so when we make love he has to stand on a biscuit tin", says the woman. "And, er, how precisely does the biscuit tin method work?" asks the researcher. "Well, it's simple really", the woman tells him, "I just kick the tin away".

[Dave2002]

One of my favourite jokes of all time, can't remember where I saw it:

René Descartes and his missus were having a dinner party but had saved some small snacks for after midnight. At around 11.30pm, René spotted a waiter going round the guests with a tray of the snacks. He quickly scribbled a note which he dispatched to the waiter. It read:

"I think they're for 1am "

I really liked that - but others didn't!

[LeMartinPecheur]

I really liked that - but others didn't!

Certainly not an easy one to tell down the pub!

[greenilex]

Some good jokes only work on paper. Keep ‘em coming.

[LMcD]

A shattered-looking doe emerges from a bush in (let's say) Oklahoma.
'I'll tell you one thing for sure - I wouldn't do that again for 50 bucks'