Current favourite jokes

[Nick Armstrong]

Whoever said that was probably a bit 'arrogate, but it's York all, I suppose; much would presumably depend upon where it Leeds you to but, for the record, I'd Doncaster Wake in the field where that cow grazed...

Don't ring us, ah, we'll ring you........

[ahinton]

Don't ring us, ah, we'll ring you........

Don't you mean "wring", Cali?...

[Roslynmuse]

Don't you mean "wring", Cali?...

That reminds me of the famous ballad in "Oliver!" - Nancy singing about her gangland lover Bill Sikes - "As long as he kneads me"...

[Nick Armstrong]

Don't you mean "wring", Cali?...

Don't tempt me, ah!

That reminds me of the famous ballad in "Oliver!" - Nancy singing about her gangland lover Bill Sikes - "As long as he kneads me"...

Sadly he buttered her to death in the end (having decided not to slice her)

Sorry

[ahinton]

Don't tempt me, ah!





Sadly he buttered her to death in the end (having decided not to slice her)

Food, glorious food, as in?...

[johncorrigan]

Reminds me of Kenneth Williams' (iirc) joke about the rich woman who ordered a milk bath at the 5-star hotel where she was staying. "Would her ladyship require pasteurised?" asked the manager. "No, just up to my bosom".

Also found in Benny Hill's 'Ernie'

She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, "All right, sweetheart,"
And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart.
He said, "D'you want it pasteurised? 'Cause pasteurised is best,"
She said, "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to me chest."

That tickled old Ernie....

[Nick Armstrong]

I don't believe in heaven or hell BUT if i'm wrong I suspect [Cecil Parkinson] is currently having an interesting chat with Stalin and Pol Pot

Alternative scenario:


There's a new band in heaven.
Lemmy on bass, Glenn Frey on
guitar, Bowie on vocals...
... and on Keays, Cecil Parkinson...

[Roslynmuse]

Alternative scenario:


There's a new band in heaven.
Lemmy on bass, Glenn Frey on
guitar, Bowie on vocals...
... and on Keays, Cecil Parkinson...

[johncorrigan]

Alternative scenario:


There's a new band in heaven.
Lemmy on bass, Glenn Frey on
guitar, Bowie on vocals...
... and on Keays, Cecil Parkinson...

Good one Cal!

[ahinton]

Alternative scenario:


There's a new band in heaven.
Lemmy on bass, Glenn Frey on
guitar, Bowie on vocals...
... and on Keays, Cecil Parkinson...

Yes, very good one, Cali -and it might have been even funnier still in reality had the (presumably uninsured) "keyman" (OK - check out financial services definitions for the decidedly un-PC term "Keyman Insurance") been Cecil Taylor...

[EdgeleyRob]

So I said to the boss "what do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap ?"
"Pop it in the corner" he said.
Took me 4 hours.

[Nick Armstrong]

So I said to the boss "what do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap ?"
"Pop it in the corner" he said.
Took me 4 hours.

[mangerton]

Alternative scenario:


There's a new band in heaven.
Lemmy on bass, Glenn Frey on
guitar, Bowie on vocals...
... and on Keays, Cecil Parkinson...

[johncorrigan]

So I said to the boss "what do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap ?"
"Pop it in the corner" he said.
Took me 4 hours.

[ahinton]

So I said to the boss "what do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap ?"
"Pop it in the corner" he said.
Took me 4 hours.

Yes - and this surely proves that the issues about the inappropriateness of the all too widely used term "Classical Music" as extensively discussed on another thread here lately apply equally to "Pop Music"; the bubble presumably needs bursting and the subject wrapped up...