Not from me, obviously. Sorry if you've already heard it.
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Money can't buy you happiness............but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery - Spike Milligan -
Couldn't help this classic from a bygone age jumping into my mind today.
What's the connection between Cecil Parkinson and MFI?
One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls to bits.Comment
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Nice one!Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
of course, you couldn't possibly have known when you posted this, that Lord C Parkinson has died...
I must say that, although I never ever agreed with 'his politics', I admired his total unswerving devotion to his party and their agenda.Comment
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Probably an old one but new to me today:
Group of Irishmen drinking in a pub window. Suddenly one goes sprinting out of the pub and up the street. He comes back a good few minutes later and they ask him what he was doing.
"Oi just noticed some bhoys stealin' me car. So oi chased after dem and it'll all be foin now, cos oi got their registration number!"I keep hitting the Escape key, but I'm still here!Comment
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It was the coldest night of the year and the next morning all the cows were frozen solid. Farmer Giles tried everything he could think of - blankets, hot water bottles, even a hair dryer - but the cows remained solid blocks of ice. A neighbour passing by asked what the problem was and on being told he smiled and said "I know the very person who can help you!" Half an hour later he was back with an elderly woman wrapped in a shawl, hobbling slowly towards the cow field. "She'll sort you out!" he smiled. She went from cow to cow, stroking, patting, whispering, and gradually each animal was released from its icy bonds.
"That's a miracle!" said the farmer. "Who is she?"
"Didn't you recognise her? That's Thaw-A-Herd!"Comment
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Originally posted by Roslynmuse View Post
That was my great stand-by joke in the early 90s, Ros!
I remember slaying the company at a work do with that one 
Great to see it get a run out again!
"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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I'd never herd it before!Originally posted by Caliban View Post
That was my great stand-by joke in the early 90s, Ros! I remember slaying the company at a work do with that one
Great to see it get a run out again!
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Spread misery?Originally posted by Tony View Post
Bully the vulnerable?
Never mind ...... he's gone
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I think this crew are much worse than Thatcher and her cronies.Originally posted by MrGongGong View PostSpread misery?
Bully the vulnerable?
Never mind ...... he's goneComment
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Oh I milked it years ago !Originally posted by johncorrigan View PostI'd never herd it before!
"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Do you know any udders like it?Originally posted by Caliban View PostOh I milked it years ago !
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All very amoosing.Comment
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...or a load of bull, depending upon one's viewpoint, one might suppose...Originally posted by Richard Tarleton View PostComment
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Here's a cattle-related joke in the Scottish dialect.
There's a number of cows standing in a field. Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.Comment
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