Current favourite jokes

[Serial_Apologist]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35099897

(Does anyone admit to watching this stuff? )

Ball? Or armpit?

[Ferretfancy]

Corrected link: http://www.snopes.com/holidays/chris...a/reindeer.asp

Point taken, although I doubt if the males have a sense of timing sensitive enough to decide to shed their antlers in early December rather than Christmas.

Antlers are very curious structures altogether. Unlike the horns of other ungulates they are solid bone, and growing bone is very energy consuming. That may explain the fact that the females shed after birth in the spring. If they had the burden of finding the extra food necessary for bone development the unborn young would suffer, so they leave it until later. It's quite common for deer to chew their shed antlers, which helps them to retrieve some of the lost calcium and other minerals.

Incidentally they have special projections rather like dew claws on their feet to act as anti skid devices, that's why they very rarely fall off the roof.

[Nick Armstrong]

I unwrapped a present early. I got a belt full of watches. I shouldn't have opened it. It was a waist of time...

[Beef Oven!]

I unwrapped a present early. I got a belt full of watches. I shouldn't have opened it. It was a waist of time...

You are EdgeleyRob, and I claim my £5.

[Ferretfancy]

Remember those David Beckham jokes? Apparently he said recently that it's easy buying presents for Victoria, which prompted the revival of this one --

Vicky gave him a thermos flask to take to his training sessions. She said "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" He went off to training and showed a team mate
the flask. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold " 'What have you got in it ? " said his mate " Strong hot coffee and a choc ice "

[EdgeleyRob]

You are EdgeleyRob, and I claim my £5.

Here's one for ya

My mate Dave drowned last week.
So at his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt.
Well, it’s what he would have wanted.

[Beef Oven!]

Here's one for ya

My mate Dave drowned last week.
So at his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt.
Well, it’s what he would have wanted.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

[Stanfordian]

I've just heard Barry Cryer on R4 Extra tell 2 gags:

"I remember when Dale Winton was 'white'"
"I'm from a generation when a 'tranny' was a radio."

[alycidon]

Hypochondriacs never die.

They just malinger on!

Happy New Year everyone.

[antongould]

Hypochondriacs never die.

They just malinger on!

Happy New Year everyone.

Excellent and all the Best for 2016 to you and indeed everyone ....

[alycidon]

A chap at an international athletics meeting went up to a competitor and asked - 'Are you a pole-vaulter?'

'No', came the reply. 'I'm a German. How did you know my name was Walter?'

[Serial_Apologist]

A chap at an international athletics meeting went up to a competitor and asked - 'Are you a pole-vaulter?'

'No', came the reply. 'I'm a German. How did you know my name was Walter?'

Where have we heard that one before?

[Dave2002]

Q: Why wouldn't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?





A: Because the "p" is silent.

[Serial_Apologist]

If you live in a terraced house, don't tell Teacher.