Current favourite jokes

[Zucchini]

A real joke/story as told by Michael Caine who was dining in the restaurant he owned and was approached by a very nervous young man:

"Mr Caine, I'm ssso sssssorryy to intttrude but could you please, please do me a great favour?"

" If I can - yeah"

"You see, my girlfriend is joining me in a moment and I'm going to propose to her - it would absolutely wonderful if you looked round, pretended to recognise me and gave me a little wave..."

"Why not - no problem!"

The girl arrives, sits, he pours her a glass of champagne, Caine looks round and gives a little wave and the guy says:

"Piss off Michael. I'm busy..."

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

A real joke/story as told by Michael Caine who was dining in the restaurant he owned and was approached by a very nervous young man:

"Mr Caine, I'm ssso sssssorryy to intttrude but could you please, please do me a great favour?"

" If I can - yeah"

"You see, my girlfriend is joining me in a moment and I'm going to propose to her - it would absolutely wonderful if you looked round, pretended to recognise me and gave me a little wave..."

"Why not - no problem!"

The girl arrives, sits, he pours her a glass of champagne, Caine looks round and gives a little wave and the guy says:

"Piss off Michael. I'm busy..."

[Serial_Apologist]

A real joke/story as told by Michael Caine who was dining in the restaurant he owned and was approached by a very nervous young man:

"Mr Caine, I'm ssso sssssorryy to intttrude but could you please, please do me a great favour?"

" If I can - yeah"

"You see, my girlfriend is joining me in a moment and I'm going to propose to her - it would absolutely wonderful if you looked round, pretended to recognise me and gave me a little wave..."

"Why not - no problem!"

The girl arrives, sits, he pours her a glass of champagne, Caine looks round and gives a little wave and the guy says:

"Piss off Michael. I'm busy..."

Maybe it sounds better when Michael Caine tells it?

[ahinton]

Maybe it sounds better when Michael Caine tells it?

A lot of people know that!

[Dave2002]

A lot of people know that!

There's a pretty dreadful recent film (probably 2013) from Scandinavia (Sweden?) which used a group of nerds in a bar, a guy going to the toilet, and Bill Gates using the same theme IIRC.

[johncorrigan]

I went into the Butcher's yesterday and all the meat was attached to the ceiling.
Mr Butcher said, 'Hey John, I bet you can't jump up and touch all the meat up there.'
I replied, 'No way I'm taking the bet because the steaks are too high!'

[ahinton]

I went into the Butcher's yesterday and all the meat was attached to the ceiling.
Mr Butcher said, 'Hey John, I bet you can't jump up and touch all the meat up there.'
I replied, 'No way I'm taking the bet because the steaks are too high!'

Rare humour from the rump of jokery, methinks, for which a briske(xi)t is well deserved; some might find it amusing but it doesn't quite rib I, I fear...

[Nick Armstrong]

Rare humour from the rump of jokery, methinks, for which a briske(xi)t is well deserved; some might find it amusing but it doesn't quite rib I, I fear...

I went into the Butcher's yesterday and all the meat was attached to the ceiling.
Mr Butcher said, 'Hey John, I bet you can't jump up and touch all the meat up there.'
I replied, 'No way I'm taking the bet because the steaks are too high!'

[ahinton]

...or Keep Kalmán, Karajan...

[johncorrigan]

Rare humour from the rump of jokery, methinks, for which a briske(xi)t is well deserved; some might find it amusing but it doesn't quite rib I, I fear...

Well Done!!

[Nick Armstrong]

Well Done!!

Well, medium

Best end.

[Serial_Apologist]

Well, medium

Best end.

John Corrigan should be for the chop.

[Padraig]

John Corrigan should be for the chop.

You trying to be cleaver, S_A?

John, you meat with my complete approval. Don't let anyone put you off all those tasty pieces.

[teamsaint]

John Corrigan should be for the chop.

Yes, It was an offal joke.

[johncorrigan]

Yes, It was an offal joke.

I kidney be bothered tryin' harder!