Current favourite jokes

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  • Padraig
    Full Member
    • Feb 2013
    • 4230

    It's the way he writes them.

    Comment

    • Petrushka
      Full Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 12238

      Originally posted by ferneyhoughgeliebte View Post
      Just in case anyone missed I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue:

      Prison today is just like a Holiday Camp. Full of entertainers from the '70s.
      Brilliant
      "The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard Haitink

      Comment

      • Rolmill
        Full Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 634

        Another gem from Jack Dee on ISIHAC yesterday:

        There are eleven types of people in the world - those who understand Roman numerals and those who don't.


        Well, it made me laugh (out loud).

        Comment

        • ferneyhoughgeliebte
          Gone fishin'
          • Sep 2011
          • 30163

          Originally posted by Rolmill View Post
          Another gem from Jack Dee on ISIHAC yesterday:

          There are eleven types of people in the world - those who understand Roman numerals and those who don't.


          Well, it made me laugh (out loud).
          - I missed that one!
          [FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]

          Comment

          • Beef Oven!
            Ex-member
            • Sep 2013
            • 18147

            Originally posted by Rolmill View Post
            Another gem from Jack Dee on ISIHAC yesterday:

            There are eleven types of people in the world - those who understand Roman numerals and those who don't.


            Well, it made me laugh (out loud).

            Comment

            • mangerton
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 3346

              I've had a dreadful day today. I was out shopping.

              I wanted a fridge, so I went to Selfridges. Seems they don't.

              Went to Currys for something to eat, but I'd no luck there either.

              And I was lucky not to be arrested when I went to Virgin Megastore.

              Comment

              • Serial_Apologist
                Full Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 37606

                Originally posted by mangerton View Post
                I've had a dreadful day today. I was out shopping.

                I wanted a fridge, so I went to Selfridges. Seems they don't.

                Went to Currys for something to eat, but I'd no luck there either.

                And I was lucky not to be arrested when I went to Virgin Megastore.
                Then never go to Waitrose if you haven't got patience.

                Comment

                • Nick Armstrong
                  Host
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 26523

                  Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                  Then never go to Waitrose if you haven't got patience.
                  And Boots is really crap for footwear.
                  "...the isle is full of noises,
                  Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                  Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                  Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                  Comment

                  • Padraig
                    Full Member
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 4230

                    ... but if you need a suit, go for a Burton one.

                    Comment

                    • MrGongGong
                      Full Member
                      • Nov 2010
                      • 18357

                      C, Eb & G walk into a bar
                      and the barman says "we don't serve minors"

                      Comment

                      • Dave2002
                        Full Member
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 18009

                        Originally posted by MrGongGong View Post
                        C, Eb & G walk into a bar
                        and the barman says "we don't serve minors"
                        I suppose next you'll be telling us that Dorian walked into a bar and asked the barman to Mixolydian!

                        Comment

                        • Nick Armstrong
                          Host
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 26523

                          Originally posted by Dave2002 View Post
                          I suppose next you'll be telling us that Dorian walked into a bar and asked the barman to Mixolydian!


                          Perhaps to wash down a plateful of:




                          "...the isle is full of noises,
                          Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                          Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                          Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                          Comment

                          • EdgeleyRob
                            Guest
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 12180

                            No matter how often I try to buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashier keeps on putting them back!

                            Comment

                            • Beef Oven!
                              Ex-member
                              • Sep 2013
                              • 18147

                              Originally posted by EdgeleyRob View Post
                              No matter how often I try to buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashier keeps on putting them back!

                              Comment

                              • charles t
                                Full Member
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 592

                                Or how about the dyslexic agnostic who was up all night pondering the existence of













                                Dog?
                                Last edited by charles t; 18-12-14, 02:49.

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