Current favourite jokes

[subcontrabass]

I saw this in the Tesco magazine
"Tesco will soon be removing lids from some of their dips..."
The heading said "Less plastic, still fantastic" The first would be true, not sure about the second bit! Be a pain to get them home I reckon.

I suspect that these are containers that came with two lids: a foil lid sealed to the top of the carton, and a plastic lid over the top that clips on (to provide a seal when the carton has been partially emptied). Such lids seem to have already been removed from some large yoghurt cartons.

[oddoneout]

I suspect that these are containers that came with two lids: a foil lid sealed to the top of the carton, and a plastic lid over the top that clips on (to provide a seal when the carton has been partially emptied). Such lids seem to have already been removed from some large yoghurt cartons.

Yes that is what I assume - but it isn't what they said!

[johncorrigan]

How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.

[LHC]

Yes that is what I assume - but it isn't what they said!

The announcement of this initiative on the Tesco website states that:

"Removing secondary lids from products saved over a hundred million pieces of plastic: 54 million pieces from baby wipes, 34 million from pots of cream, 34 million from salads."

So either they have taken note of your comments and have clarified which lids have been removed, or the sub-editor of the Tesco magazine was a bit too enthusiastic in summarising the initiative.

[johncorrigan]

My brother is a Maths teacher. He was telling me the other day that he hates teaching negative numbers. He says that he'll stop at nothing to avoid it.

[Pulcinella]

Given that TPE are themselves a joke, I was amused to see this in the Guardian today

Mayors in the north of England are meeting to demand the government “get a grip” on appalling rail services, with TransPennine Express (TEP) on track to cancel more than 20,000 trains this year.

I know that journalists like puns, but surely the whole point is that these trains have NOT been on the tracks.
And the poor Guardian cannot even get TPE right!

[johncorrigan]

And the poor Guardian cannot even get TPE right!

They need a new tpesetter it would appear.

[Serial_Apologist]

Given that TPE are themselves a joke, I was amused to see this in the Guardian today



I know that journalists like puns, but surely the whole point is that these trains have NOT been on the tracks.
And the poor Guardian cannot even get TPE right!

Thanks for not signalling that one!

[oddoneout]

Seen in the freezer in a discount store today, bags labelled boldly "Half Crispy Duck". Could make for disagreement at dinner time unless a Jack Sprat arrangement exists?

[johncorrigan]

Why do owls never canoodle in the rain?
Because it's too wet to woo.

[Serial_Apologist]

Why do owls never canoodle in the rain?
Because it's too wet to woo.

That one went into our school file of 'owlers, I remember.

[johncorrigan]

That one went into our school file of 'owlers, I remember.

I don't give a hoot, S_A.

[Serial_Apologist]

I don't give a hoot, S_A.

[edashtav]

Gounod’s ‘The Funeral March of Marie Antoinette’

[Bryn]