Current favourite jokes

[johncorrigan]

I just heard that all England football internationals are to be postponed for a year to give the players time to learn the new words for the national anthem.

My pal is the conductor of Perthshire Brass, Richard. Yesterday he was asked if they could play 'God Save the King'. He said, 'If it's the same tune, nae bother.'

[ahinton]

The reading of the proclamation from the Mercat Cross on the Royal Mile was attended by dozens of dignitaries, including a Sturgeon.

Caviar emptor? Anyway, I'm just waiting for someone to mispronounce Mercat as "Meerkat"...

[Pulcinella]

There's probably a better thread, but this (intentional?) headline is quite amusing, from the Guardian:

Exclusive: Leaked documents reveal water firms are considering drastic measures to combat drought

[Bryn]

There's probably a better thread, but this (intentional?) headline is quite amusing, from the Guardian:

Exclusive: Leaked documents reveal water firms are considering drastic measures to combat drought

A subhead, rather than the main headline but:

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/sep/13/stricter-curbs-may-be-imposed-on-water-use-in-england-as-supplies-run-low

[oddoneout]

A subhead, rather than the main headline but:

https://www.theguardian.com/environm...pplies-run-low

They ran that one a few weeks ago. After many places have had a considerable quantity of rain it will be interesting to see the contortions to explain why there are still shortages. No need to explain why said rain will have also led to yet more sewage transgressions sadly.

[Bryn]

For those on FB: https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=...83798180219850

[Bryn]

Another gem from FB: https://www.facebook.com/WeDemanduk/...4611225573339/

[Joseph K]

For those on FB: https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=...83798180219850

Another gem from FB: https://www.facebook.com/WeDemanduk/...4611225573339/

[johncorrigan]

Yesterday I said to my wife that now that I'm retired I was thinking of taking up rambling.
'Walking or talking?', she replied.

[Serial_Apologist]

Yesterday I said to my wife that now that I'm retired I was thinking of taking up rambling.
'Walking or talking?', she replied.

Walking - for Miles! -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMW3RloxEyA

[ahinton]

Another gem from FB: https://www.facebook.com/WeDemanduk/...4611225573339/

One that I heard before last Monday that might be associated with this was that the Queen's funeral might have to be cancelled out of respect for the Queen...

[oddoneout]

The internet was playing up yesterday and I was having trouble loading some sites. At one point I got the following error message which, while sadly all too accurate in my case, I did feel was a trifle personal.
"Backend is unhealthy"

[Serial_Apologist]

The internet was playing up yesterday and I was having trouble loading some sites. At one point I got the following error message which, while sadly all too accurate in my case, I did feel was a trifle personal.
"Backend is unhealthy"

At least it didn't say "If you lose something, the first place to check is the bottom of your drawers".

[Serial_Apologist]

Tues 27 Sept - Channel 4
9.15pm - Make Me Prime Mininster
New series - 1/6
Twelve British citizens with views from across the political spectrum take part in a contest to learn what it takes to operate in the world of politics. The candidates are put through their paces in a series of prime ministerial-style tasks to test their leadership skills, resilience and integrity. The challenges are set by Alastair Campbell and Baroness Warsi.

My bolds. Where to start, for goodness sakes? There used to be a saying, "wheels within wheels". From my perspective this idea of Alastair Cambell being involved in a programme which courts his version of role-modelling for top political jobs, and on Channel 4 (of all places one might once have said) amounts to an overwhelming case of ironies within ironies.

[LHC]

I’m not a Daily Star reader, but this front page is brilliant.