Current favourite jokes

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  • antongould
    Full Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 8733

    Originally posted by Nick Armstrong View Post
    Shouldn’t you be striking Rumpole …. ????

    Comment

    • Nick Armstrong
      Host
      • Nov 2010
      • 26445

      Originally posted by antongould View Post
      Shouldn’t you be striking Rumpole …. ????

      Been withholding my labour for over 6 years now, anton

      (This comes to you from Paris, incidentally… )
      "...the isle is full of noises,
      Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
      Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
      Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

      Comment

      • LHC
        Full Member
        • Jan 2011
        • 1539

        "I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
        Lady Bracknell The importance of Being Earnest

        Comment

        • cloughie
          Full Member
          • Dec 2011
          • 22068

          Originally posted by Joseph K View Post
          If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?
          S(He) get some stick(s).

          Comment

          • Bryn
            Banned
            • Mar 2007
            • 24688

            Originally posted by LHC View Post
            I thought Americans were supposed not to get irony.

            Comment

            • Serial_Apologist
              Full Member
              • Dec 2010
              • 37321

              Southwark Coucil emails just keep on giving!

              Visit our recycling centre - a free, fun, family day out
              Explore our diggers and trucks, join upcycling, craft workshops, bring your bike for a safety check and see how we sort your recycling. Join the fun-filled, family-friendly day out. Saturday 10 September, 10am to 4pm.

              Comment

              • johncorrigan
                Full Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 10280

                I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
                He said "Thanks".
                I said "Don't mention it".

                Comment

                • Serial_Apologist
                  Full Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 37321

                  Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
                  I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
                  He said "Thanks".
                  I said "Don't mention it".
                  I think I've spotted a tusk muster.

                  Comment

                  • LHC
                    Full Member
                    • Jan 2011
                    • 1539

                    A new Ladybird book coming out soon (UK edition only)

                    "I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
                    Lady Bracknell The importance of Being Earnest

                    Comment

                    • Serial_Apologist
                      Full Member
                      • Dec 2010
                      • 37321

                      Originally posted by LHC View Post
                      A new Ladybird book coming out soon (UK edition only)

                      That would be a turd edition.

                      Comment

                      • Boilk
                        Full Member
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 976

                        Comment

                        • hmvman
                          Full Member
                          • Mar 2007
                          • 1073

                          The new king at one time in his life confessed to talking to vegetables. A skill that will surely come in handy during his weekly chinwag with the prime minister.

                          Comment

                          • Pulcinella
                            Host
                            • Feb 2014
                            • 10683

                            Not sure that this is necessarily the best thread, but this, from The Guardian online, amused me:

                            The reading of the proclamation from the Mercat Cross on the Royal Mile was attended by dozens of dignitaries, including a Sturgeon.

                            Comment

                            • RichardB
                              Banned
                              • Nov 2021
                              • 2170

                              I just heard that all England football internationals are to be postponed for a year to give the players time to learn the new words for the national anthem.

                              Comment

                              • oddoneout
                                Full Member
                                • Nov 2015
                                • 8969

                                Originally posted by Pulcinella View Post
                                Not sure that this is necessarily the best thread, but this, from The Guardian online, amused me:

                                The reading of the proclamation from the Mercat Cross on the Royal Mile was attended by dozens of dignitaries, including a Sturgeon.
                                Something fishy there...
                                This from a bit further on in the article amused me
                                There were only about seven in number but they were extremely loud hecklers.

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