Current favourite jokes

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • LHC
    Full Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 1556

    When even the Spectator recognizes that the Government’s approach is wrong:

    "I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
    Lady Bracknell The importance of Being Earnest

    Comment

    • johncorrigan
      Full Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 10349

      Thanks, LHC - glad Patel is useless - imagine the damage she could do if she was even remotely competent.

      Comment

      • RichardB
        Banned
        • Nov 2021
        • 2170

        Dominic Raab: Johnson told parliament the truth about Downing Street parties "to the best of his ability". Brilliant!

        Comment

        • johncorrigan
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 10349

          Enjoyed Ian Hislop's crack on HIGNFY last evening about the closure of McDonald restaurants in Russia - he suggested that it was the imposition of a no fry zone.

          Comment

          • richardfinegold
            Full Member
            • Sep 2012
            • 7656

            Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
            Enjoyed Ian Hislop's crack on HIGNFY last evening about the closure of McDonald restaurants in Russia - he suggested that it was the imposition of a no fry zone.
            It may also improve Russian Life Expectancy

            Comment

            • oddoneout
              Full Member
              • Nov 2015
              • 9145

              A small ad in the local rag made me smile this morning.
              "Phantom cockerels, all colours for sale"
              Do they go woo-hoo-hoo rather than cock-a-doodle-do? Better for the neighbours if so perhaps.

              Comment

              • johncorrigan
                Full Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 10349

                Mrs Schwarzenegger asks Arnie how many chocolate eggs he received on Sunday.
                Arnie replies, 'None!'
                His wife says, 'That's disappointing. You usually gets loads. That must make you fed up with this time of the year?'
                Arnie replies, 'Not at all. You has ta love Easta, Baby!'

                Comment

                • Serial_Apologist
                  Full Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 37605

                  A Conservative MP has been accused of watching porn while attending the House of Commons.

                  BBC News quote just now: "A spokesperson has said the Speaker is looking into it"

                  Comment

                  • RichardB
                    Banned
                    • Nov 2021
                    • 2170

                    Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                    A Conservative MP has been accused of watching porn while attending the House of Commons.
                    Reported in Metro rather, er, touchingly, as "Tory MP ‘caught watching porn’ during mass debate in House of Commons".

                    Comment

                    • Bryn
                      Banned
                      • Mar 2007
                      • 24688

                      Originally posted by RichardB View Post
                      Reported in Metro rather, er, touchingly, as "Tory MP ‘caught watching porn’ during mass debate in House of Commons".
                      Too 'witty' for The Sun, I suppose.

                      Comment

                      • Serial_Apologist
                        Full Member
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 37605

                        Originally posted by Bryn View Post
                        Too 'witty' for The Sun, I suppose.
                        I'm waiting to find out if anybody's legs have been involved in this.

                        Comment

                        • oddoneout
                          Full Member
                          • Nov 2015
                          • 9145

                          Originally posted by RichardB View Post
                          Reported in Metro rather, er, touchingly, as "Tory MP ‘caught watching porn’ during mass debate in House of Commons".
                          Would have thought the HoC too ungodly a place to be considering weighty matters...


                          But what is a "mass debate" anyway?

                          Comment

                          • Serial_Apologist
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 37605

                            Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
                            Would have thought the HoC too ungodly a place to be considering weighty matters...


                            But what is a "mass debate" anyway?
                            We must all pull together?

                            Comment

                            • Boilk
                              Full Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 976

                              George W inadvertently admits to being no better than Putin

                              Comment

                              • Serial_Apologist
                                Full Member
                                • Dec 2010
                                • 37605

                                Originally posted by Boilk View Post
                                George W inadvertently admits to being no better than Putin

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X