Current favourite jokes

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  • cloughie
    Full Member
    • Dec 2011
    • 22115
    #4171
    Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
    I've got a pal working in a factory making chess pieces. He told me that he's on nights this week.
    I heard he’s moved on to their marketing team as a pawn broker!

    Comment

    • LeMartinPecheur
      Full Member
      • Apr 2007
      • 4717
      #4172
      Originally posted by cloughie View Post
      I heard he’s moved on to their marketing team as a pawn broker!
      Kingky!
      I keep hitting the Escape key, but I'm still here!

      Comment

      • johncorrigan
        Full Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 10348
        #4173
        Originally posted by LeMartinPecheur View Post
        Kingky!
        He's only started in the factory - just a rookie!

        Comment

        • johncorrigan
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 10348
          #4174
          Just been at my friend's funeral. He got hit on the head by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

          Comment

          • LeMartinPecheur
            Full Member
            • Apr 2007
            • 4717
            #4175
            I don't get what's going on at COP26 in Glasgow. Why is everyone there so against deboristation??


            Retreats behind sofa...
            ..trying to find his hearing aid!
            I keep hitting the Escape key, but I'm still here!

            Comment

            • LHC
              Full Member
              • Jan 2011
              • 1555
              #4176
              "I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
              Lady Bracknell The importance of Being Earnest

              Comment

              • Serial_Apologist
                Full Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 37592
                #4177

                Comment

                • kernelbogey
                  Full Member
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 5736
                  #4178
                  A man who had a piano accordion that he no longer wanted to play left it in his car with the doors unlocked and the windows open.

                  When he returned to it later there were two more accordions on the back seat.

                  Comment

                  • Serial_Apologist
                    Full Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 37592
                    #4179
                    Originally posted by kernelbogey View Post
                    A man who had a piano accordion that he no longer wanted to play left it in his car with the doors unlocked and the windows open.

                    When he returned to it later there were two more accordions on the back seat.


                    It was banjos the way Paul Rutherford would tell it.

                    Comment

                    • Edgy 2
                      Guest
                      • Jan 2019
                      • 2035
                      #4180
                      I need someone to brush their teeth with me
                      I've just found out that 9 out of 10 dentists say brushing alone will not prevent cavities
                      “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

                      Comment

                      • Edgy 2
                        Guest
                        • Jan 2019
                        • 2035
                        #4181
                        Does anyone remember the joke about a chiropractor I posted on here about a week back ?
                        “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

                        Comment

                        • Serial_Apologist
                          Full Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 37592
                          #4182
                          Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
                          Does anyone remember the joke about a chiropractor I posted on here about a week back ?
                          I sense there's a spinal trap in there somewhere!

                          Comment

                          • cloughie
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2011
                            • 22115
                            #4183
                            Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                            I sense there's a spinal trap in there somewhere!
                            Or possibly you’re being manipulated!

                            Comment

                            • oddoneout
                              Full Member
                              • Nov 2015
                              • 9145
                              #4184
                              I misheard Hannah French on yesterday's Breakfast and thought she was introducing "a nudist from Gesualdo 6".
                              I don't know whether it's a reflection of received information about that composer's oddities or of the rather warped way I sometimes interpret the world but it took me longer than it should have done to realise she was talking about a "new disc"...

                              Comment

                              • ahinton
                                Full Member
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 16122
                                #4185
                                Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
                                Does anyone remember the joke about a chiropractor I posted on here about a week back ?
                                No, but was it anything about "build back better"?...

                                Comment

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