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"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative ?
Arseskin for a friend.“Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor StravinskyComment
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Why do snowmen not like carrot cake?
Because it tastes like bogeys!Comment
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What did the first mind reader say to the second mind reader?
You're all right! How am I?
*with thanks to Janet and Allan Ahlberg!Comment
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That's two psychiatrists greeting each other in the original.Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
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A tortoise goes up a dark alleyway and is mugged by a gang of snails. When the police arrived they interviewed the tortoise and asked what he could tell them about the attack. 'I don't know,' said the tortoise. 'It all happened so fast!'Comment
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We don’t do jokes about dyslexia. They are not very clever and they are not very furry
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I had to settle for a jar of Robertsons Seedless Marmalade this morning, which has no appeal for me.Comment
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It might grow on you, S_A . . . . Ah No! It won't.Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View PostComment
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Old joke heard again on R4 this morning:
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they aaarrghComment
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A minister was delivering a sermon on the evils of drink.
"If I had all the beer in the world I would take it and pour it into the river," he said, with enormous emphasis.
Pounding his fists, he shouted "If I had all the wine in the world I would take it and pour that into the river too!"
He raised himself to his full height and screamed to the congregation "If I had all the whiskey in the world I would take it and pour that into that river!"
Panting and red-faced, he sat down.
The music leader then got up saying
"Please stand for our final song - Shall We Gather At The River"Comment
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