Originally posted by cloughie
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Current favourite jokes
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Originally posted by cloughie View PostWas it social bubble wrap?
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Originally posted by LMcD View PostI'm SO out of touch with current musical trends, so it's not surprising I haven't heard of ... hang on ... ah, it's 'wrap' not 'rap' ... sorry!
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Originally posted by Bryn View PostA pair on The News Quiz:
Pritti Patel, "The Female Enoch"
Keir Starmer named after Keir Hardy. Jeremy Corbyn named after Jeremy Hardy.
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Reported - and perhaps in one of the newspapers recently.
A conductor (presumably not a native English speaker) wanted to impress the orchestra he was about to conduct, and to show that he knew a lot about the music.
"I know f*** nothing about this piece". The orchestra laughs, and is clearly not impressed, so he thinks, what is the opposite of nothing.
"Oh, I meant I know f*** all about it." Riotous laughter and applause.
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Originally posted by Dave2002 View PostReported - and perhaps in one of the newspapers recently.
A conductor (presumably not a native English speaker) wanted to impress the orchestra he was about to conduct, and to show that he knew a lot about the music.
"I know f*** nothing about this piece". The orchestra laughs, and is clearly not impressed, so he thinks, what is the opposite of nothing.
"Oh, I meant I know f*** all about it." Riotous laughter and applause.Last edited by LMcD; 19-09-20, 20:17.
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Originally posted by Dave2002 View PostReported - and perhaps in one of the newspapers recently.
A conductor (presumably not a native English speaker) wanted to impress the orchestra he was about to conduct, and to show that he knew a lot about the music.
"I know f*** nothing about this piece". The orchestra laughs, and is clearly not impressed, so he thinks, what is the opposite of nothing.
"Oh, I meant I know f*** all about it." Riotous laughter and applause.
“ Mike Curtiz was the director of The Charge and his Hungarian-oriented English was a source of joy to us all.
High on a rostrum he decided that the right moment had come to order the arrival on the scene of a hundred head of riderless chargers. “Okay!” he yelled into a megaphone. “Bring on the empty horses!”
[Errol] Flynn and I doubled up with laughter. “You lousy bums,” Curtiz shouted, “you and your stinking language…you think I know f*** nothing…well, let me tell you – I know F*** ALL!”"I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
Lady Bracknell The importance of Being Earnest
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