Current favourite jokes

[Serial_Apologist]

A man walks into a bar. Lucky bastard!

A woman walks into a florists. Not a blooming hope!

[LMcD]

A woman walks into a florists. Not a blooming hope!

Let's hope she wasn't stalked!

[LeMartinPecheur]

A woman walks into a florists. Not a blooming hope!

Thanks a bunch...

[gradus]

Russian censorship: Nyetflix

[Serial_Apologist]

An intruder breaks into Prince Andrew's sauna room. No sweat!

A man enters a French record shop and asks if they sell modern music. The salesperson replies, "I am sorry monsieur, we avant garde any at the moment".

[LezLee]

A traveler stopped at a monastery and they invited him to stay for a delicious dinner of fish and chips.
After dinner he went in the kitchen and asked a guy "Are you the fish friar?" and the guy said "No I'm the chip monk."

[johncorrigan]

A traveler stopped at a monastery and they invited him to stay for a delicious dinner of fish and chips.
After dinner he went in the kitchen and asked a guy "Are you the fish friar?" and the guy said "No I'm the chip monk."

Praise the Lard!

[LMcD]

What borders on insanity?
Canada and Mexico.

[cloughie]

What borders on insanity?
Canada and Mexico.

[cloughie]

Praise the Lard!

It was so hot in there it was dripping!

[LMcD]

It was so hot in there it was dripping!

I can't believe that I used to eat bread and dripping when young.

[Bryn]

I can't believe that I used to eat bread and dripping when young.

Depends, partly, on how old you are. I certainly recall eating bread and dripping, as a treat.

[Pulcinella]

Depends, partly, on how old you are. I certainly recall eating bread and dipping, as a treat.

Olive oil and balsamic vinegar back then, eh?
You were posh!

[Bryn]

Olive oil and balsamic vinegar back then, eh?

Not even today, Trypo[sic] now corrected.

[johncorrigan]

Olive oil and balsamic vinegar back then, eh?
You were posh!

Are you giving Bryn a dressing down?