Current favourite jokes

[cloughie]

Very good.
But, technically speaking, Bicester in the W Midlands?

S

[Serial_Apologist]

TESTICULATE

To wave one's arms around while talking b*llocks

[Nick Armstrong]

TESTICULATE

To wave one's arms around while talking b*llocks

[Boilk]

TESTICULATE

To wave one's arms around while talking b*llocks

JESTICULATE

To wave one's arms around while doing standup?

[johncorrigan]

JESTICULATE

To wave one's arms around while doing standup?

VESTICULATE

To wave one's arms around while undressing.

[LMcD]

BOSTIKULATE

To wave one's arms around while repairing a broken teapot or similar treasured item.

[Serial_Apologist]

BOSTIKULATE

To wave one's arms around while repairing a broken teapot or similar treasured item.

As I tend to do when, having spent much time superglueing back a mug handle it promptly drops off in the washing up!



MASTICULATE

Chewing off more than one can swallow.

[Boilk]

BREXTICULATE ... take your pick!!

[greenilex]

CREPUSTICULATE

To run around madly looking for matches to light a candle or two before it is too dark to see

[Serial_Apologist]

CREPUSTICULATE

To run around madly looking for matches to light a candle or two before it is too dark to see

Don't you yet have electricity where you are? WE do.

[Bryn]

CREPUSTICULATE

To run around madly looking for matches to light a candle or two before it is too dark to see

Last power cut I suffered I had to fork out for twice as many candles.

[LMcD]

Last power cut I suffered I had to fork out for twice as many candles.

[Serial_Apologist]

Fork handles!

I never keep matches in the flat. Fortunately when I gave up smoking 6 years ago, I remembered not to throw out my cigarette lighters.

[gradus]

Kippers - fish that like a lot of sleep.

I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling.

(courtesy of the late-lamented Chic Murray)

[Richard Barrett]

I told my psychiatrist I keep hearing voices in my head.

He said "you don't have a psychiatrist".