Originally posted by Serial_Apologist
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Current favourite jokes
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Originally posted by Edgy 2 View PostA Man was run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A Policeman went to inform the family and said "There's no easy way to say this"."...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Two rabbits escape from a lab one night. They’re heading down the road and they come upon this farm; so they hop in. That first night they totally gorge themselves on carrots. The next night they go hell for leather for the broccoli. The third night they get tore in to the radishes till they can hardly move. On the fourth morning one rabbit turns to the other and says, ‘I’ve had enough of this. I’m heading back to the lab.’
The other one says, ‘What do you want to do that for? This is heaven. We’ve got all the carrots and broccoli and radish we can eat. Why would you go back?’
And the first one says, ‘Cos I’m gaspin’ for a fag!’
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A young woman asked her very old grandfather for his secret for a long life. "Well," he said, " Sprinkle a little bit of gunpowder on your porridge every morning." She followed his advice and she died at the ripe old age of 103. She left behind 9 children, 21 grandchildren, 36 great grandchildren, 48 great great grandchildren - and a 40 foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
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