Current favourite jokes

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  • oddoneout
    Full Member
    • Nov 2015
    • 9145

    Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
    Andrew Marr, on his show this morning:

    "He [Jeremy Hunt] used to say Health would be his last big job in politics..."

    He kept the usual straight face, so probably didn't intend it that way.
    You sure about that?

    Comment

    • Serial_Apologist
      Full Member
      • Dec 2010
      • 37602

      Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
      You sure about that?
      Marr seems to have lost all that boyish sense of fun since losing the use of his left hand...

      Comment

      • Edgy 2
        Guest
        • Jan 2019
        • 2035

        I got sacked from my job at the pasta shop.
        All because I made a fusilli mistakes
        “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

        Comment

        • johncorrigan
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 10349

          Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
          I got sacked from my job at the pasta shop.
          All because I made a fusilli mistakes

          I wish I had a penne for every time I've heard that one, Rob.*




          *I'd have a penne!

          Comment

          • LMcD
            Full Member
            • Sep 2017
            • 8411

            Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
            Andrew Marr, on his show this morning:

            "He [Jeremy Hunt] used to say Health would be his last big job in politics..."

            He kept the usual straight face, so probably didn't intend it that way.
            Did I not also hear Jeremy Hunt say that he would not court (or seek) unpopularity? Probably a good idea.

            Comment

            • Dave2002
              Full Member
              • Dec 2010
              • 18009

              Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post

              I wish I had a penne for every time I've heard that one, Rob.*




              *I'd have a penne!
              So does my friend from Latvia - rigatoni.

              Comment

              • Triforium
                Full Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 147

                Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post

                I wish I had a penne for every time I've heard that one, Rob.*




                *I'd have a penne!
                Orzo you say.....

                Comment

                • johncorrigan
                  Full Member
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 10349

                  Originally posted by Triforium View Post
                  Orzo you say.....
                  Hey, dinnae macaronious remarks about me, Tri.

                  Comment

                  • Padraig
                    Full Member
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 4227

                    Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
                    Hey, dinnae macaronious remarks about me, Tri.
                    Or me either.

                    Paddy went to the doctor with a bad leg.

                    Tell me what's wrong with it doctor, for I need it for work on the farm.

                    Och Paddy, it's the old-age so it is.

                    Rubbish man! Sure me other leg is the same age and there's not a thing wrong with IT.

                    Comment

                    • Keraulophone
                      Full Member
                      • Nov 2010
                      • 1945

                      Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
                      Why did the punk cross the road?
                      Because he was stapled to the chicken.
                      Why did the duck cross the road?
                      To show he wasn't chicken.

                      Comment

                      • johncorrigan
                        Full Member
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 10349

                        Originally posted by Keraulophone View Post
                        Why did the duck cross the road?
                        To show he wasn't chicken.
                        Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
                        Because the chicken hadn't been invented yet!

                        Comment

                        • Edgy 2
                          Guest
                          • Jan 2019
                          • 2035

                          I've set up a dating agency for chickens ,it not my full time job, it's just to make hens meet.
                          “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

                          Comment

                          • LeMartinPecheur
                            Full Member
                            • Apr 2007
                            • 4717

                            Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
                            Hey, dinnae macaronious remarks about me, Tri.
                            Guys, this really is getting pasta joke
                            I keep hitting the Escape key, but I'm still here!

                            Comment

                            • Triforium
                              Full Member
                              • Nov 2010
                              • 147

                              Originally posted by LeMartinPecheur View Post
                              Guys, this really is getting pasta joke
                              Let's not forget my panel beater friend at the body shop, Al Dente.

                              Comment

                              • vinteuil
                                Full Member
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 12793

                                .

                                ... article in The Times today :

                                "Hospital trusts named after sandwiches kill five"

                                But how many hospital trusts are there 'named after sandwiches'?


                                .

                                Comment

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