Current favourite jokes

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  • johncorrigan
    Full Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 10349

    Thought I'd try some Viagra at the weekend, but I had trouble swallowing the pill, so all I had to show for it was a stiff neck!

    Comment

    • alycidon
      Full Member
      • Feb 2013
      • 459

      A guy goes up to a competitor at an athletics meeting and asks -

      ‘Are you a pole-vaulter?’

      ‘No,’ comes the reply, ‘I’m a German’.

      ‘How did you know my name is Walter’,
      Money can't buy you happiness............but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery - Spike Milligan

      Comment

      • Serial_Apologist
        Full Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 37603

        Originally posted by alycidon View Post
        A guy goes up to a competitor at an athletics meeting and asks -

        ‘Are you a pole-vaulter?’

        ‘No,’ comes the reply, ‘I’m a German’.

        ‘How did you know my name is Walter’,
        We've had that one before - where else would I be able to find it??

        Comment

        • alycidon
          Full Member
          • Feb 2013
          • 459

          Sorry SA. It was probably me then!
          Money can't buy you happiness............but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery - Spike Milligan

          Comment

          • johncorrigan
            Full Member
            • Nov 2010
            • 10349

            Originally posted by alycidon View Post
            Sorry SA. It was probably me then!
            First time I heard it was Billy Connolly telling it, saying it was a Chic Murray joke.
            Billy Connolly telling Chic Murray's pole vaulter joke, from Billy's World Tour of Scotland.

            Comment

            • Edgy 2
              Guest
              • Jan 2019
              • 2035

              My internet bride arrived today.
              She's the WiFi always dreamed of.
              “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

              Comment

              • LMcD
                Full Member
                • Sep 2017
                • 8412

                Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
                My internet bride arrived today.
                She's the WiFi always dreamed of.
                Was she wearing a wireless bra?

                Comment

                • Boilk
                  Full Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 976

                  Originally posted by LMcD View Post
                  Was she wearing a wireless bra?
                  No, her being oversized it was held together by a broad band.

                  Comment

                  • cloughie
                    Full Member
                    • Dec 2011
                    • 22115

                    Originally posted by Boilk View Post
                    No, her being oversized it was held together by a broad band.
                    With tape to make sure it was superfast!

                    Comment

                    • MrGongGong
                      Full Member
                      • Nov 2010
                      • 18357

                      Comment

                      • Dave2002
                        Full Member
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 18009

                        Originally posted by MrGongGong View Post

                        Comment

                        • Serial_Apologist
                          Full Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 37603

                          In the end, not surprisingly, every news item on this morning's Toady turned out to have been an April Fool.

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                          • MrGongGong
                            Full Member
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 18357

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                            • Serial_Apologist
                              Full Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 37603

                              The chef who put too many condiments in his cooking was eventually found guilty of salt and peppery.

                              Comment

                              • Vox Humana
                                Full Member
                                • Dec 2012
                                • 1248

                                Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                                The chef who put too many condiments in his cooking was eventually found guilty of salt and peppery.
                                I would just like to take this opportunity to wish you the condiments of the season.

                                Comment

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