Current favourite jokes

[Zucchini]

Frenchman: "Ah need some pepper; will you please bring it to ma room … "
Receptionist: "Of course sir; black pepper or white pepper?"
Frenchman: "Toilet pepper … "

[LMcD]

'She was C of E but with all those vicars being had up she went over to atheism'
(from Alan Bennett's new play at the Bridge Theatre in London)

[LMcD]

Mrs May is told she is to visit the Irish border.
'Tell me, Mr Fitzgerald, how long have you and your lovely family been renting this room?'

[BBMmk2]

Harriet said to the famous composer, "Arnie darling, it's Bliss when you make love to me But I'm sure you know that from my Howells. I'm afraid the neighbours might complain about the noise but I'll cross that Bridge at the time. Our love is no Façade, but perhaps you'll see Walt in the morning, to get our tickets for Ireland, which as you know is no longer part of Britten.

The GC replied, even if we have our Bax to the wall you'll still be my Byrd, but I hope there won't be to much Baratting from Richard.

[LMcD]

Harriet said to the famous composer, "Arnie darling, it's Bliss when you make love to me But I'm sure you know that from my Howells. I'm afraid the neighbours might complain about the noise but I'll cross that Bridge at the time. Our love is no Façade, but perhaps you'll see Walt in the morning, to get our tickets for Ireland, which as you know is no longer part of Britten.

The GC replied, even if we have our Bax to the wall you'll still be my Byrd, but I hope there won't be to much Baratting from Richard.

(All the above presumably accompanied by a nightingale in a Bush in Berkeley Square while they tried to get Walton the phone)

[Serial_Apologist]

Harriet said to the famous composer, "Arnie darling, it's Bliss when you make love to me But I'm sure you know that from my Howells. I'm afraid the neighbours might complain about the noise but I'll cross that Bridge at the time. Our love is no Façade, but perhaps you'll see Walt in the morning, to get our tickets for Ireland, which as you know is no longer part of Britten.

The GC replied, even if we have our Bax to the wall you'll still be my Byrd, but I hope there won't be to much Baratting from Richard.

Sir Hamilton was Harty to see Sir Adrian Bolt after taking Beecham.

(I've always wondered HOW????

[cloughie]

(All the above presumably accompanied by a nightingale in a Bush in Berkeley Square while they tried to get Walton the phone)

You may be right and you may be wrong but are you perfectly willing to swear?

[LMcD]

You may be right and you may be wrong but are you perfectly willing to swear?

Only if you can promise me that the streets are really paved with stars.
One of my favourite recordings of this song is by Manhattan Transfer.

[BBMmk2]

There were trouble in the laundry, Purcell had to be called in to clean things up!

[cloughie]

Only if you can promise me that the streets are really paved with stars.
One of my favourite recordings of this song is by Manhattan Transfer.

Absolutely perfect in its delivery.

[Serial_Apologist]

Absolutely perfect in its delivery.

From Amazon by motorcycle courier?

[cloughie]

From Amazon by motorcycle courier?

What, from Manhattan?

[Serial_Apologist]

What, from Manhattan?

By courier pigeon, then!

[LMcD]

By courier pigeon, then!

The original intention was to use a nightingale, but the pigeon did better in the speed tests and also proved to have a better sense of direction.

[cloughie]

The original intention was to use a nightingale, but the pigeon did better in the speed tests and also proved to have a better sense of direction.

Probably night calling sapped the nightingale’s energy!