Current favourite jokes

[Serial_Apologist]

Padraig, an old pal on Islay used to say something much the same, and always followed it with, 'Were you on the lorry when you fell off?'

I once asked after the saxophonist Alan Skidmore's father, also a quite well-known saxophone player in his time. "He died, just a couple of weeks ago", he told me, adding, "well, we hope he did, because we buried him last week!"

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

I once asked after the saxophonist Alan Skidmore's father, also a quite well-known saxophone player in his time. "He died, just a couple of weeks ago", he told me, adding, "well, we hope he did, because we buried him last week!"

Spike Milligan used the variant "1937 was a bad year for my aunt. She died. Well, I hope she did; that's when they buried her."

[MrGongGong]

[BBMmk2]

A Roman walked into a bar, and put two fingers up and asked for five beers!

[Serial_Apologist]

A Roman walked into a bar, and put two fingers up and asked for five beers!

A Frenchman walked into a political rally, put up two fingers, and said, "V for la France".

[Nick Armstrong]

- What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon this morning?

- Tennish

[johncorrigan]

A Roman walked into a bar, and put two fingers up and asked for five beers!

When I heard it, Bbm, it was a guy from the sawmill!

[Serial_Apologist]

A bloke goes into a pub. orders a drink, sits down at the bar and places his hat beside his glass.
A second bloke with a dog comes and sits beside him. The dog proceeds to eat the first bloke's hat.
"Oi", say the first bloke, "Your dog is eating my hat!"
"So?" says the second.
"Wait a minute, I don't like you attitude", says the first.
"It's not mine", answers the second, "it's your hat he chewed".

[MrGongGong]

[Serial_Apologist]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/political/politics-headlines/corbyn-wows-voters-with-pledge-to-ban-u2-20170720132405

[pastoralguy]

Hey! That's MY playing. Copyrighted,you know!

[LeMartinPecheur]

Guy goes into a bar and asks for some punch.

Barman: "Join the line."

Guy looks around...




...there's no punch-line

[Serial_Apologist]

Guy goes into a bar and asks for some punch.

Barman: "Join the line."

Guy looks around...

If you'd left it at that, it wouldn't have been too subtle for forumites!

[LeMartinPecheur]

If you'd left it at that, it wouldn't have been too subtle for forumites!

S-A, you are ever the optimist. I prefer to nail the obvious...if such it be!

[jean]

Line is American. I would not have understood.