Originally posted by johncorrigan
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Current favourite jokes
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Here's one for you, Beefy! A birthday treat... (well, you've had a birthday recently, haven't you? within the last year, right?)
Tried to sign up to a website the other day.
I entered my password as "beef stew" but it said it wasn't stroganoff"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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A man on his first skiing holiday heads off up the mountain on his own.
At the top of the ski lift,he isn't quite sure what to to,so, skis securely fastened, he says to the first person he sees:
" excuse me,I wonder if you could help me. i'm new to all this. When I ski down. do I zig Zag, or Zag Zig?"
" Can't help you there mate", comes the reply. "I'm a tabogganist".
"Oh well, "says our skier, " in that case, can I have 20 Bensons, and a Daily Mirror, please?"Last edited by teamsaint; 23-05-16, 22:03.I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.
I am not a number, I am a free man.
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Originally posted by teamsaint View PostA man on his first skiing holiday heads off up the mountain on his own.
At the top of the ski lift,he isn't quite sure what to to,so, skis securely fastened, he says to the first person he sees:
" excuse me,I wonder if you could help me. i'm new to all this. When I ski down. do I zig Zag, or Zag Zig?"
" Can't help you there mate", comes the reply. "I'm a tabogganist".
"Oh well, "says our skier, " in that case, can I have 20 Bensons, and a Daily Mirror, please?"
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One day the god Thor decided he wanted to hang up his hammer and go down to Earth to experience human love. In no time at all he found a beautiful young lady and they hit it off straight away, making love all night. In the morning as they lay together in the afterglow, he realised that in his haste, he had not introduced himself.
"I," he declared, "am Thor!"
"Tho am I," she replied, "but wasn't it thuper?"Pacta sunt servanda !!!
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Originally posted by Flay View PostOne day the god Thor decided he wanted to hang up his hammer and go down to Earth to experience human love. In no time at all he found a beautiful young lady and they hit it off straight away, making love all night. In the morning as they lay together in the afterglow, he realised that in his haste, he had not introduced himself.
"I," he declared, "am Thor!"
"Tho am I," she replied, "but wasn't it thuper?""...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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We've got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music.
Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark."...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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[QUOTE=Flay;561317]One day the god Thor decided he wanted to hang up his hammer and go down to Earth to experience human love. In no time at all he found a beautiful young lady and they hit it off straight away, making love all night. In the morning as they lay together in the afterglow, he realised that in his haste, he had not introduced himself.
"I," he declared, "am Thor!"
Perhaps it came from the same source as
The Sun God Thor, went for a ride,
Upon his favourite filly
'I'm Thor' he cried
The beast replied
'You forgot your thaddle, thilly!'
"Money can't buy you happiness............but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery - Spike Milligan
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