Current favourite jokes

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  • Beef Oven!
    Ex-member
    • Sep 2013
    • 18147

    Comment

    • teamsaint
      Full Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 25195

      Originally posted by Beef Oven! View Post


      I LOL'd , and half choked on my cuppa.


      And then felt guilty about my crap typing on this board.
      I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.

      I am not a number, I am a free man.

      Comment

      • Nick Armstrong
        Host
        • Nov 2010
        • 26523




        "...the isle is full of noises,
        Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
        Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
        Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

        Comment

        • Serial_Apologist
          Full Member
          • Dec 2010
          • 37605

          Seen in Peckham Rye Park this afternoon:

          Ali's Ices
          BEWARE CHILDREN!

          Comment

          • oddoneout
            Full Member
            • Nov 2015
            • 9145

            Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
            Seen in Peckham Rye Park this afternoon:

            Ali's Ices
            BEWARE CHILDREN!
            Also useful to observe is the warning on all sorts of items - 'Keep away from children'. I do try but it gets ever more difficult...

            Comment

            • Nick Armstrong
              Host
              • Nov 2010
              • 26523

              Bloke walks into his GP’s office with a mushroom in one nostril, a carrot in the other and a prawn in his ear.

              "I think I see the problem," said the doctor. "You're not eating properly."
              "...the isle is full of noises,
              Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
              Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
              Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

              Comment

              • ferneyhoughgeliebte
                Gone fishin'
                • Sep 2011
                • 30163

                Originally posted by Caliban View Post
                Bloke walks into his GP’s office with a mushroom in one nostril, a carrot in the other and a prawn in his ear.

                "I think I see the problem," said the doctor. "You're not eating properly."
                [FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]

                Comment

                • Serial_Apologist
                  Full Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 37605

                  Notice outside the Evangelicals-run cinema Open Door in Upper Norwood today:

                  "God is Not Dead 2.
                  Coming soon!"

                  Comment

                  • Pianorak
                    Full Member
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 3127

                    In the Guardian today:

                    Three reasons Jesus is an Italian: only an Italian son would live with his mama till he was 30. Only an Italian son could think his mama was still a virgin. Only an Italian mama could think her son was God.

                    A few more: http://www.theguardian.com/world/201...eir-neighbours
                    My life, each morning when I dress, is four and twenty hours less. (J Richardson)

                    Comment

                    • Serial_Apologist
                      Full Member
                      • Dec 2010
                      • 37605

                      "A total right off"

                      - Freudian malapropism seen on another website just now.

                      Comment

                      • Nick Armstrong
                        Host
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 26523

                        Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                        "A total right off"

                        - Freudian malapropism seen on another website just now.
                        What a muck-up !!
                        "...the isle is full of noises,
                        Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                        Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                        Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                        Comment

                        • Bryn
                          Banned
                          • Mar 2007
                          • 24688

                          I noted today's Guardian front page splash on the new Mayor of London's beef about his predecessor's failure to address the issue of levels of pollution above the level permitted by the EU found in many London Schools. Given the number of schools concerned, 433, it is surely no wonder that ABdPJ remained tacit re the matter.

                          Comment

                          • Dave2002
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 18009

                            ABdP ??

                            Comment

                            • jean
                              Late member
                              • Nov 2010
                              • 7100

                              Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

                              Comment

                              • Richard Barrett
                                Guest
                                • Jan 2016
                                • 6259

                                Originally posted by jean View Post
                                Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.
                                I thought this thread was for funny jokes.

                                Comment

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