Mary of Teck ...

[MickyD]

Visitors to banquets at the palace were frequently in awe of the specially-designed porcelain dinnerware - known by connaisseurs as The Tecktonic Plates.

[scottycelt]

As the Isle of Wight antiques dealer kept recounting his snuff boxes, his assistant enquired why he was so suspicious of his last customer. That most grand, bejewelled lady who had seemed so interested in the stock, especially how she she had lovingly caressed the jade with her gloved hand.

'If she calls again mauling my jade, Maureen, never take your eyes off her. Yerrss, she's much too teck-tile for my liking!'

Yes that is true, but in defence of our renowned and noble lady, it must always be remembered that the very same antiques dealer was notorious in the locality for being obsessively over-teckative, after shamelessly, and in a most covert manner, deteckting the more relaxed shopping habits of this most respected and much-loved Royal.

[Don Basilio]

This is so me. I've only read the book and not seen the TV version. The bit I remember is the vicar's daughter who begins quoting the psalm of the day from the Book of Common Prayer as the fire engulfs her.

[Stillhomewardbound]

Queen Mary's pleasure of an afternoon was to be taken on drives or visits to her more distinguished subjects, she considered pasttimes however, such as reading and books a waste of good social time.

This marked her out distinctly from her avaricious reader of a cousin whose nose was seldom out of a book.

He was of course, the eccentric Baron Prince Hans Otto Buchwurmell du Bibilio-teck.

[Ferretfancy]

When we were children in the Fifties we would occasionally be taken to Dulwich Park, I think connected with a visit to the marvellous nearby Horniman's Museum. My mother, a resident of Sydenham, South London in the Thirties was fond of telling us that Queen Mary used to like being driven round the park to see the rhododendrons. Apart from having something to do with a very large boat, I was not sure who exactly she was.

Dulwich Park was my local park, and hadn't changed very much when I last visited. The rhododendrons are still there, looking very dull when not in flower, and I also remember Queen Mary's visits ( We lived in Court Lane nearby ) My only real memory of the old dear was that everybody complained about the terrible bawling of military commands when the Beeb broadcast her funeral.

[Sydney Grew]

This thread should not be permitted to drift off into limbo-land without our having related the very first "dirty joke" we learned, in 1947 aged seven:

Q: Why did the lobster blush?
A: Because it saw Queen Mary's b*tt*m.

We earnestly hope that it will amuse some of the present-day Members as much as it did us at the time.

[mangerton]

Oh no! I'm shocked, horrified, and scandalised.

First thing on a Sunday morning, too.

[Stillhomewardbound]

Audrey, me smelling salts ... NOW!

[Flosshilde]

This thread should not be permitted to drift off into limbo-land without our having related the very first "dirty joke" we learned, in 1947 aged seven:

Q: Why did the lobster blush?
A: Because it saw Queen Mary's b*tt*m.

We earnestly hope that it will amuse some of the present-day Members as much as it did us at the time.

my encounter with this joke was in the mid-fifties (I would have been about 7 as well), when the local vicar told it during his weekly visit to the school to look after our spiritual well-being. Another gem was 'Why couldn't the railway engine sit down?' - 'Because it had a tender behind.'

[vinteuil]

... my childhood was clearly more sheltered than that of poor Mr Grew. The version our nanny told us, was that the lobster blushed "because it saw the salad dressing".

Perhaps Mr Grew's current 'Weltanschauung' (pour ne pas dire 'Weltschmerz') all flows from the harsh handling he sustained as a child? He clearly must have been mingling with some Rough Boys...

[scottycelt]

The good fellow-children of my Glasgow upbringing (in which city, incidentally, the great ship was built) would never have as much as contemplated uttering such puerile smut ...

[Flosshilde]

Presumably Jesuit schoolboys are purer than convent schoolgirls are reputed to be?

[scottycelt]

Presumably Jesuit schoolboys are purer than convent schoolgirls are reputed to be?

Well, we certainly were 'by default', Flossie ...

Jesuits have such a healthy understanding of innocent teenage curiosity that we had a massive 10' wall separating us from the convent school next door ..

[amateur51]

Well, we certainly were 'by default', Flossie ...

Jesuits have such a healthy understanding of innocent teenage curiosity that we had a massive 10' wall separating us from the convent school next door ..

aaaaah heterosexualists to man, you & your teenage chums, eh scotty?

[scottycelt]

aaaaah heterosexualists to man, you & your teenage chums, eh scotty?

Good heavens, Ams, I would never have been so nosey (or indeed so foolish) as to enquire of any of my old school chums regarding such very personal and delicate adult matters ... dearie me.