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  • Padraig
    Full Member
    • Feb 2013
    • 4266

    Sorry

    Apologies are frequently called for these days, and nearly as frequently made. Is making an apology the same as saying 'Sorry'?
  • burning dog
    Full Member
    • Dec 2010
    • 1512

    #2
    Originally posted by Padraig View Post
    Apologies are frequently called for these days, and nearly as frequently made. Is making an apology the same as saying 'Sorry'?
    I think "Sorry that I/We" is an apology. Politicians, media organizations, large corporations go in for "Sorry if I/We offended/hurt you by" which isn't IMO.

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    • french frank
      Administrator/Moderator
      • Feb 2007
      • 30666

      #3
      As often as not the emphasis is put on the fact that, "We are sorry that you were offended: there was no intention on our part to offend anyone." But as, nevertheless, you insist on being offended we can't be held responsible. We did nothing wrong.
      It isn't given us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world.

      Comment

      • Pulcinella
        Host
        • Feb 2014
        • 11268

        #4
        Originally posted by french frank View Post
        As often as not the emphasis is put on the fact that, "We are sorry that you were offended: there was no intention on our part to offend anyone." But as, nevertheless, you insist on being offended we can't be held responsible. We did nothing wrong.
        I'm not sure that they're even sorry about that.
        The word isn't really in their vocabulary.

        Comment

        • cloughie
          Full Member
          • Dec 2011
          • 22242

          #5
          Originally posted by Pulcinella View Post
          I'm not sure that they're even sorry about that.
          The word isn't really in their vocabulary.
          And very often apologies are delivered with a distinct lack of sincerity.

          Comment

          • oddoneout
            Full Member
            • Nov 2015
            • 9436

            #6
            There is a phrase used for 'official' apologies, by the likes of companies not delivering the service they are paid to, which really for me sums up their lack of commitment to the concept of admitting they have been less that satisfactory, and it is "We would like to apologise for....". No, they wouldn't like to apologise, and in any case the way it is phrased suggests they have found something more interesting/lucrative/whatever to do instead of apologising. "We would like to(no we wouldn't, what do you take us for) ...but we have better things to do than dealing with moaning minnies".

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            • Petrushka
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 12391

              #7
              What about the more personal apology for a wrong done? The word 'sorry' is often the most inadequate in the English language and can be wholly unsuited to try to right a wrong. As already pointed out the word has so often been debased by politicians and the business world as to render it useless.
              "The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard Haitink

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              • Padraig
                Full Member
                • Feb 2013
                • 4266

                #8
                Originally posted by Petrushka View Post
                What about the more personal apology for a wrong done? The word 'sorry' is often the most inadequate in the English language and can be wholly unsuited to try to right a wrong. As already pointed out the word has so often been debased by politicians and the business world as to render it useless.
                Is the word 'sorry' so debased that even in personal situations it is rendered useless?

                Has burning dog hit the nail on the head with his distinction between 'sorry that' and 'sorry if'?

                Comment

                • Pulcinella
                  Host
                  • Feb 2014
                  • 11268

                  #9
                  Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
                  There is a phrase used for 'official' apologies, by the likes of companies not delivering the service they are paid to, which really for me sums up their lack of commitment to the concept of admitting they have been less that satisfactory, and it is "We would like to apologise for....". No, they wouldn't like to apologise, and in any case the way it is phrased suggests they have found something more interesting/lucrative/whatever to do instead of apologising. "We would like to(no we wouldn't, what do you take us for) ...but we have better things to do than dealing with moaning minnies".
                  Isn't that more usually: We would like to apologise, but we're not going to?

                  Comment

                  • Pulcinella
                    Host
                    • Feb 2014
                    • 11268

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Padraig View Post
                    Is the word 'sorry' so debased that even in personal situations it is rendered useless?

                    Has burning dog hit the nail on the head with his distinction between 'sorry that' and 'sorry if'?
                    I'm sorry to say that he probably has (i.e., I should have got there first!).

                    Comment

                    • Padraig
                      Full Member
                      • Feb 2013
                      • 4266

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Pulcinella View Post
                      We would like to apologise, but we're not going to?
                      Not apologising is regarded as equally abhorrent as apologising insincerely. Which is the more ethical course?

                      Comment

                      • Eine Alpensinfonie
                        Host
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 20582

                        #12
                        VW were extremely sorry amount the emissions scandal, but only because they were found out...

                        Comment

                        • EnemyoftheStoat
                          Full Member
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 1142

                          #13
                          What about those pointless and insincere recorded railway announcements: “I am sorry to announce that...” The heck you are; you’re a recording.

                          Comment

                          • kernelbogey
                            Full Member
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 5848

                            #14
                            Originally posted by EnemyoftheStoat View Post
                            What about those pointless and insincere recorded railway announcements: “I am sorry to announce that...” The heck you are; you’re a recording.
                            I believe I may have heard 'South Western Railway apologises for the late running of this train': that seems ok even if recorded. That company, my local to Lonodn, (and others) have so disempowered the on train staff (Guard? ) that they don't often issue an 'I' apology, which seems more genuine.

                            I was once told 'Don't both apologise and explain: this seemed to me a useful guidline. Either 'i'm sorry I'm late for our meeting'; OR 'I'm late because of a muddle on the train this morning' - but not both.

                            Comment

                            • Pabmusic
                              Full Member
                              • May 2011
                              • 5537

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Padraig View Post
                              Apologies are frequently called for these days, and nearly as frequently made. Is making an apology the same as saying 'Sorry'?
                              There are four types of apology, as I see it.

                              1. I did something shameful and I acknowledge it and regret it. I don't think one person can apologise on behalf of another and be sincere.

                              2. I acknowledge that something done by someone else - often in the past - was shameful, and I regret that it happened. If genuinely said it's all that can amount to an apology for (say) slavery, colonialism, religious fervour, antisemitism and the like.

                              3. I regret that you are offended by [insert issue]. Implied is - don't be so sensitive and grow up.

                              4. I regret that I have been found out.

                              A few years ago (8-10?) the press started on Richard Dawkins to apologise because a direct ancestor had owned slaves about 1720. Having said that he loathed slavery (but refusing to apologise for someone in the early 18th century) he pointed out that a conservative estimate for the number of direct descendants living now might be 1,400. Presumably the other 1,399 should also apologise.
                              Last edited by Pabmusic; 02-09-20, 05:36.

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