Court of special investigation

[Frances_iom]

having been informed, by letter addreesed to 'Legal Occupier', that I am to become the subject of a special investigation by TV licencensing - what defence do the other M/B's suggest
(a) appear senile and bang the table when asked any question
(b) an immediate visit to my hairdresser to ask for a red tint in what is left
(c) buy a bottle of green ink in expectation of a long correspondence (unstamped by myself however)

[Bryn]

Well what a coincidence, just as you were commencing on that commission for a special investigation on harassment of the elderly and infirm by the Television Licensing Gestapo.

[Anna]

having been informed, by letter addreesed to 'Legal Occupier', that I am to become the subject of a special investigation by TV licencensing - what defence do the other M/B's suggest

Frances, a) assuming you honestly don't have a television, invite them in, make a cup of tea, offer a slice of home-baked cake, ask them to take away your laptop/PC for evidence that you have never watched iplayer or listened to Radio 3 live

b) take them up to the roof and explain your multiple aerials are necessary to access Radio 3 and you are not s spy and make sure they know you do not need a tv licence to listen to radio

c) offer them another cup of tea and cake before you threaten to throw them off the roof

d) wait for Radio Manx's mobile broadcasting vans and you will be a YouTube sensation overnight!

[MrGongGong]

having been informed, by letter addreesed to 'Legal Occupier', that I am to become the subject of a special investigation by TV licencensing - what defence do the other M/B's suggest
(a) appear senile and bang the table when asked any question
(b) an immediate visit to my hairdresser to ask for a red tint in what is left
(c) buy a bottle of green ink in expectation of a long correspondence (unstamped by myself however)

I would make a collection of recordings of current TV music
and play them a high volume when they knock on the door

'TV ? what's that"



(and, of course you are gaining access to the subsidised BBC without paying so you are allowed NO comment whatsoever on the content of R3 or the costs of Proms tickets !!!)

[Frances_iom]

I would make a collection of recordings of current TV music
...

do they have music as well as moving pictures ? - last house I lived in with a TV was when I was student well over 4 decades ago! - my FM antenna is a simple folded dipole attached to the eaves with no TV antenna - I believe I am allowed to listen to R3 live via the computer tho my usual computers cannot as I refuse to install flash or run javascript on those I use for 'work'

[hackneyvi]

- what defence do the other M/B's suggest

Invite them round. Give them a day and time - a fortnight away - when you'll be in and have the kettle on.

You do have a licence ...?

[Frances_iom]

You do have a licence ...?

No - I have no TV - never had one since I left my parental home! (to be honest I can't see how I could afford the time to watch - I bought a few DVDs of classic films but havn't looked at them - at one time I joked I'd seen more films midAtlantic than on either shore .)


I can just about remember radio licences but they were abolished years ago.

[Mr Pee]

take them up to the roof and explain your multiple aerials are necessary to access Radio 3 and you are not s spy and make sure they know you do not need a tv licence to listen to radio

Ermm....wrong. Of course you need a TV Licence to listen to the radio.

From the BBC Press Office, April 2010:-

The licence fee pays for:

The television channels BBC One, BBC Two, BBC Three, BBC Four, BBC News, BBC Parliament, CBBC and CBeebies;

five network radio services, and digital radio services BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra, BBC Radio 1Xtra, BBC Radio 7, BBC 6 Music and BBC Asian Network;

regional television programmes and Local Radio services in England;
national radio and television in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland;
BBC Red Button, BBC Mobile and the BBC website (bbc.co.uk).

[Bryn]

A lack of basic comprehension there Pee. The Television Licence pays for BBC Radio, but one is not required to hold one in order to be permitted to receive radio, whether BBC or other channels.

[hackneyvi]

The Television Licence pays for BBC Radio, but one is not required to hold one in order to be permitted to receive radio, whether BBC or other channels.

All is explained!

No - I have no TV ...

Invite them round!

Years ago, a friend of mine, living in an especially shabby dump in Islington, had some kind of detection man call on him. When the intercom buzzed and the caller made himself clear, Pete (who also had no TV) let the man in and called him up to the first floor. He dragged the poor beggar through the flat, repeatedly inviting the mortified bureaucrat to look in every grubby nook and cranny for the TV he didn't own.

I think, periodically and without mercy, Peter may have cried, "Is it there?!"

Invite the f***ers for tea!

[french frank]

Well, I've had two visits, and each time the agents from TVL were fine. They demanded nothing, they were not aggressive, they were charming. I've had no visit and no written letter from them now for several years.

(The first time I wrote to the BBC Chairman - Sir C Bland - and said if he'd let me come and poke round his house every two years they could come and poke round mine. He resigned two weeks later )

[hackneyvi]

(The first time I wrote to the BBC Chairman - Sir C Bland - and said if he'd let me come and poke round his house every two years they could come and poke round mine. He resigned two weeks later )

It's not completely to his credit that it took him a fortnight but he did the right thing in the end.

[amateur51]

Well, I've had two visits, and each time the agents from TVL were fine. They demanded nothing, they were not aggressive, they were charming. I've had no visit and no written letter from them now for several years.

(The first time I wrote to the BBC Chairman - Sir C Bland - and said if he'd let me come and poke round his house every two years they could come and poke round mine. He resigned two weeks later )

[amateur51]

A lack of basic comprehension there Pee. The Television Licence pays for BBC Radio, but one is not required to hold one in order to be permitted to receive radio, whether BBC or other channels.

Oh dear, poor Mr Pee

Not been a good month, has it ol' flower

[Norfolk Born]

Invite them round for tea and biccies on September (or November) the 31st - with a bit of luck, they'll accept without twigging any potential problem this might cause.