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  • Zucchini
    Guest
    • Nov 2010
    • 917

    Joseph K

    This may make you smile ...

    For some years I shared an office floor with a quite large cleaning services company. Richard, the owner, is a super guy & almost every morning received calls from a manager at the Client end - like "Mr Dogface's waste paper bin wasn't emptied last night - send someone immediately. It's nearly full!"

    One day he took a call from his most meticulous Client, the Commonwealth War Graves Commission, asking for an urgent top to bottom overnight clean - they were hosting German bigwigs for a few days! He drafted in extra cleaners. But they didn't know the rules/protocols for the building

    So somehow they set the fire alarm system off

    It is of course forbidden to enter the lifts if this happens

    So they all got in the various lifts with mops, buckets etd and descended to the ground floor

    A senior manager had to be called in by the Security Desk late at night. All sorted!

    BUT when the Germans arrived the next day, they entered a lift with mirror glass all round - covered with fingerprints, smudges from cloths, spilt water on the floor.


    Richard expected a terrible bollocking but his contact at War Graves said it was a wonderful ice-breaker & the Germans thought it really funny!

    All the best

    Comment

    • Padraig
      Full Member
      • Feb 2013
      • 4237

      Originally posted by french frank View Post
      Doesn't compare with some people's grumbles, I know,
      Well, ff, this should beef up your dismay. Some months ago our City Council started a scheme for garden waste, and provided a huge bin for the purpose. It's a godsend and my 'gardening skills' have benefited greatly. They collect once a fortnight and we haven't missed a collection yet. Even more recently they included bagged food waste for that bin - an even tidier idea. So, I think you have good reason to grumble, though. . . no! I won't dwell on the fantasy of your dragging a great sack of weeds through the streets of Bristol. No, I won't. Down with BCC.

      Comment

      • oddoneout
        Full Member
        • Nov 2015
        • 9205

        I have just completed an Office for National Statistics survey online and was more than a little concerned (and annoyed) to find that for several of the questions I could not give a correct answer - but no option for "none of the above" or "other"in order to proceed further, although those options did appear for some of the other questions. Two particular items were only giving employed or self-employed as type of employment tick boxes( I'm neither) and assuming that working from home was an option (which it isn't, as for hundreds of thousands of others). Given the purposes for which ONS say they want the info, and its status as a government department, I find that more than a tad worrying.
        There was also a sting in the tail right at the end when they stated they don't give postal vouchers as the thank you, but don't say that in the blurb sent out beforehand - so if like me you have neither printer nor smartphone tough titty. I have managed(perhaps) to rectify that by phoning to ask how I raise my concerns about the answer options, and say I wasn't pleased about not being able to have the voucher; the person said she would request a postal voucher to be sent. However shouldn't a gov't department (especially one dealing with statistics!) be more aware that we are not yet at 100% mobile phone let alone smartphone ownership and deal with that pro-actively rather than expecting the individual to try and find a way through - even assuming one exists, which in some cases it doesn't, as I found out with test registration.
        I do try to be a good and helpful citizen but this sort of thing, which arises more and more, is a disincentive.

        Comment

        • french frank
          Administrator/Moderator
          • Feb 2007
          • 30302

          Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
          I have just completed an Office for National Statistics survey online and was more than a little concerned (and annoyed) to find that for several of the questions I could not give a correct answer
          As I was completing a Post Office Money survey a couple of days ago I found I couldn't answer succeeding questions. I then realised this had also happened some weeks before, same survey. On both occasions I just bailed out. I regularly complete YouGov surveys, on kitchen cleaning equipment, television programmes I've (not) watched, celebrities/films I've never heard of - I skip all those questions with 'I don't know', 'Not sure', 'Neither agree nor disagree' and have clocked up a number of 'points'. What an earth I'm supposed to do with these points I don't know. I just hope to be asked occasionally: 'Do you think the government is doing Very Well/Quite well/No opinion/Badly/Very Badly on whatever. But mostly it's about Harpic or Line of Duty
          It isn't given us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world.

          Comment

          • Petrushka
            Full Member
            • Nov 2010
            • 12255

            Originally posted by french frank View Post
            As I was completing a Post Office Money survey a couple of days ago I found I couldn't answer succeeding questions. I then realised this had also happened some weeks before, same survey. On both occasions I just bailed out. I regularly complete YouGov surveys, on kitchen cleaning equipment, television programmes I've (not) watched, celebrities/films I've never heard of - I skip all those questions with 'I don't know', 'Not sure', 'Neither agree nor disagree' and have clocked up a number of 'points'. What an earth I'm supposed to do with these points I don't know. I just hope to be asked occasionally: 'Do you think the government is doing Very Well/Quite well/No opinion/Badly/Very Badly on whatever. But mostly it's about Harpic or Line of Duty
            I remember a cartoon I saw very many years ago which pictured a doorstep pollster asking a man: "Do you always tell lies to survey questions"?
            "The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard Haitink

            Comment

            • Dave2002
              Full Member
              • Dec 2010
              • 18021

              Originally posted by Petrushka View Post
              I remember a cartoon I saw very many years ago which pictured a doorstep pollster asking a man: "Do you always tell lies to survey questions"?
              At times (??) I have been subversive - though usually with a purpose. I used to teach classes, and other people would say "do you mind if we come and ask the students to do a survey in your class?" Often this was more of an ultimatum than a request, and it was often disruptive and time consuming. Sometimes there would be a "bribe" for the class members - a promise of a randomly selected member completing the survey getting (say) a £10 Amazon voucher.

              In order to speed up the process I did on occasions mention that it didn't matter what answers were supplied - "just do it" - and it won't make any difference to your chances of getting the "prizes" or not. I think on occasions that might have speeded things up quite a lot.

              Presumably if people really care about the results of a survey and the premises behind it they will answer to the best of their ability and knowlege, but otherwise it's perfectly possible for the individual question answers to be random rubbish.

              Comment

              • french frank
                Administrator/Moderator
                • Feb 2007
                • 30302

                On which subject, I've just had an email from Lloyds Bank assuring me that during these difficult times they are there for me, and if I do visit the branch, please wear a face covering and keep my distance from other customers. At the end of this, they asked me to complete a quick questionnaire which consisted of one question: was I Very Unhappy, Fairly Unhappy, Neither Happy nor Unhappy, Fairly Happy or Very Happy with their email? I duly responded that I was Neither Happy nor Unhappy. This briefly took me to their website where I was thanked for my feedback (for what use it was).
                It isn't given us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world.

                Comment

                • muzzer
                  Full Member
                  • Nov 2013
                  • 1193

                  It never ceases to astound me how poorly phrased most online satisfaction surveys are, to the point of alienating me from the institution that’s paid thru its nose often with public money for some substandard PR agency to squander its reputation. If you’re running PR for a national body you should pay more attention to detail because, believe me, I could do your job on top of mine with both hands tied behind my back.

                  Comment

                  • Serial_Apologist
                    Full Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 37696

                    Originally posted by french frank View Post
                    On which subject, I've just had an email from Lloyds Bank assuring me that during these difficult times they are there for me, and if I do visit the branch, please wear a face covering and keep my distance from other customers. At the end of this, they asked me to complete a quick questionnaire which consisted of one question: was I Very Unhappy, Fairly Unhappy, Neither Happy nor Unhappy, Fairly Happy or Very Happy with their email? I duly responded that I was Neither Happy nor Unhappy. This briefly took me to their website where I was thanked for my feedback (for what use it was).


                    But....... you mean you actually have a BRANCH???

                    Comment

                    • french frank
                      Administrator/Moderator
                      • Feb 2007
                      • 30302

                      Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post


                      But....... you mean you actually have a BRANCH???
                      Yes, although I seldom need to enter its portals. If I do, they have been known to ring me afterwards to enquire how satisfied I was with my visit, was I made to feel like a valued customer. I did end up feeling quite annoyed and telling them I was less satisfied by being plied with such questions. Who comes out of the bank saying to themselves, "I really feel like a valued customer at Lloyds bank. On a scale of one to 10, I'd give them 9 for their service on this occasion"?
                      It isn't given us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world.

                      Comment

                      • oddoneout
                        Full Member
                        • Nov 2015
                        • 9205

                        Originally posted by french frank View Post
                        Yes, although I seldom need to enter its portals. If I do, they have been known to ring me afterwards to enquire how satisfied I was with my visit, was I made to feel like a valued customer. I did end up feeling quite annoyed and telling them I was less satisfied by being plied with such questions. Who comes out of the bank saying to themselves, "I really feel like a valued customer at Lloyds bank. On a scale of one to 10, I'd give them 9 for their service on this occasion"?
                        Some years ago I had a spate of tiresome calls where someone would ask for me by name but wouldn't say who they were or why they wanted to speak to me. There was a breakthrough when one individual(perhaps new to the job) said he was calling on behalf of Lloyds to do a feedback following my recent visit. The calls were far more frequent than the number of visits, so tiresome. Armed with that information I went in to branch and complained as I had requested no marketing or other contact by phone so shouldn't be having these calls. I pointed out that if I was given a paper form when I had actually visited I would complete that happily (a system used by a local building society I saved with), but the phone calls meant that they weren't getting any feedback. After quite a bit of effort the manager (who I'd known since he was a schoolboy...) shamefacedly got back to me to say that there was no way to stop the calls as they weren't considered marketing but part of the "normal" operation of my account. He wasn't happy at having found that out, not least because the calls were supposed to be numbers picked at random so I shouldn't have had so many in such a short space of time, but also because it was a third party company contracted by Lloyds making the calls so reflecting badly on the bank as they were being posted online as nuisance/suspicious calls. That Lloyds account was only a temporary arrangement to facilitate dealing with my mother's affairs and so wasn't used for several years, but I started using it again about 3 years ago and haven't so far had a repeat of the issue. The branch has been open through the pandemic and the staff continued to be welcoming and helpful, unlike my building society which adopted a repel boarders /every customer a threat/do everything outside approach which I was not pleased about having been with them for 30 years and knowing many of the staff.

                        Comment

                        • Serial_Apologist
                          Full Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 37696

                          Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
                          Some years ago I had a spate of tiresome calls where someone would ask for me by name but wouldn't say who they were or why they wanted to speak to me. There was a breakthrough when one individual(perhaps new to the job) said he was calling on behalf of Lloyds to do a feedback following my recent visit. The calls were far more frequent than the number of visits, so tiresome. Armed with that information I went in to branch and complained as I had requested no marketing or other contact by phone so shouldn't be having these calls. I pointed out that if I was given a paper form when I had actually visited I would complete that happily (a system used by a local building society I saved with), but the phone calls meant that they weren't getting any feedback. After quite a bit of effort the manager (who I'd known since he was a schoolboy...) shamefacedly got back to me to say that there was no way to stop the calls as they weren't considered marketing but part of the "normal" operation of my account. He wasn't happy at having found that out, not least because the calls were supposed to be numbers picked at random so I shouldn't have had so many in such a short space of time, but also because it was a third party company contracted by Lloyds making the calls so reflecting badly on the bank as they were being posted online as nuisance/suspicious calls. That Lloyds account was only a temporary arrangement to facilitate dealing with my mother's affairs and so wasn't used for several years, but I started using it again about 3 years ago and haven't so far had a repeat of the issue. The branch has been open through the pandemic and the staff continued to be welcoming and helpful, unlike my building society which adopted a repel boarders /every customer a threat/do everything outside approach which I was not pleased about having been with them for 30 years and knowing many of the staff.
                          A friend of mine resigned over the business of pressuring customers to take one or another of the managed investment schemes offered by Lloyds bank in the late 1990s when she learned that not only staff bonuses but promotions were dependent on the number of customers per staff member inveigled into said schemes. Having something of a conscience, she had under-achieved, she was told, and she'd better buck her ideas up if she was to expect promotion in the future. She told the superior what he and Lloyds plc could do with his scheme. He said if that was to be her attitude then maybe she had better consider her future with the company, or he would. So rather than undergo black marks on her CV she wrote a letter of resignation and put it on the branch manager's desk that very day, and never returned to bank employment.

                          Comment

                          • Serial_Apologist
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 37696

                            I don't know what the hell Channel 5 are playing at. Last night I saw part 1 of what turned out an excellent exposé about tabloid treatments meted out on celebrities to gain and sustain readership levels for the past 40-50 years, and was greatly looking forward to Part 2 of this 3-parter, billed as Sex and Power and showing yesterday, tonight and tomorrow. Switched on tonight at 9 to find A&E After Dark being transmitted. Assuming there must have been a switch around with the second part postponed to 10pm for watershed reasons, I now find some programme about Trident to be showing! I stuck on a CD in anticipation of what I was expecting to view, and am now somewhat narked off.

                            Comment

                            • oddoneout
                              Full Member
                              • Nov 2015
                              • 9205

                              Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                              I don't know what the hell Channel 5 are playing at. Last night I saw part 1 of what turned out an excellent exposé about tabloid treatments meted out on celebrities to gain and sustain readership levels for the past 40-50 years, and was greatly looking forward to Part 2 of this 3-parter, billed as Sex and Power and showing yesterday, tonight and tomorrow. Switched on tonight at 9 to find A&E After Dark being transmitted. Assuming there must have been a switch around with the second part postponed to 10pm for watershed reasons, I now find some programme about Trident to be showing! I stuck on a CD in anticipation of what I was expecting to view, and am now somewhat narked off.
                              That's annoying isn't it. As my weekend newspaper viewing supplement has it listed for tonight and the last part tomorrow I assume it is a last minute change - perhaps someone in high places, having seen the first part, got worried?

                              Comment

                              • Serial_Apologist
                                Full Member
                                • Dec 2010
                                • 37696

                                Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
                                That's annoying isn't it. As my weekend newspaper viewing supplement has it listed for tonight and the last part tomorrow I assume it is a last minute change - perhaps someone in high places, having seen the first part, got worried?
                                It certainly begs many questions.

                                Comment

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