Barking mad

[Beppe]

I recently saw an advert for Dog Advent Calendars - which are about to be on sale in one of the cheaper chains.

What are cats going to have?

Cats should be put into a Halloween calendar!

[cloughie]

But what about my goldfish?

Is that the one which was safe in water but blew the claim that it was safe in Lux?

[LeMartinPecheur]

Momentarily, I heard that as 'flat caps'.

Prompted by this which probably appeared a while ago on another thread?

"How do you spot a dyslexic Yorkshireman?"

"He's the one with a cat flap on his head!"

[french frank]

Prompted by this which probably appeared a while ago on another thread?

"How do you spot a dyslexic Yorkshireman?"

"He's the one with a cat flap on his head!"

<sigh> Don't you just hate it when you discover someone else thought of your bon mot before you did?

[Dave2002]

<sigh> Don't you just hate it when you discover someone else thought of your bon mot before you did?

I'm too busy trying to figure out what goldfish have to do with Lux. (msg 32)

[Pulcinella]

Prompted by this which probably appeared a while ago on another thread?

"How do you spot a dyslexic Yorkshireman?"

"He's the one with a cat flap on his head!"

A Yorkshire Spoonerist better, surely?

[Pulcinella]

I'm too busy trying to figure out what goldfish have to do with Lux. (msg 32)

Me too; too timid to show my ignorance by being the first to ask.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Me too; too timid to show my ignorance by being the first to ask.

Old Advert for Lux soap crystals: "If it's safe in water, it's safe in Lux".

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Old Advert for Lux soap crystals: "If it's safe in water, it's safe in Lux".

... resulting almost immediately in the joke about a chap writing to the manufacturers of said soap crystals, "Dear Sir; I recently saw your advertisement claiming 'If it's safe in water, it's safe in Lux'. Now; about my goldfish ... "

[teamsaint]

Me too; too timid to show my ignorance by being the first to ask.

You are clearly too young, rather than too ignorant !!

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

[Richard Tarleton]

Can you wash tiger skin in Lux?

Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err
With her
On some other fur?

[Dave2002]

I knew someone at a party who was trying to elicit ways to wash his vests. Possibly he had recently acquired a “new” one, and was seeking help.

The ladies suggested water, soap and putting them in the washing machine for a while.

“No good” he said, and stuck to his theme. He did I think also suggest some form of acid, but the ladies didn’t like that. I think he did say that only a very mild acid would do.

When challenged as to why not he suggested some or all of the following:

Won’t go in the machine

Probably too heavy

Will clank about bit

Will probably rust - not a good idea.

The ladies ventured another question “How old are the vests?”

“Very old”

“So why bother to wash them, throw them away and buy new ones. M&S do some quite good ones.”

“No absolutely not. They’re far too valuable.”

He spun things along in this way for a while before finally admitting that he possessed sets of chain mail, which were indeed old, valuable and quite difficult to clean.

I don’t think Lux would have been the answer, either.

[kernelbogey]

I knew someone at a party who was trying to elicit ways to wash his vests. Possibly he had recently acquired a “new” one, and was seeking help.

He should have written a letter seeking advice, sent it to six people, asking each of them to copy and send the letter to six others....

[french frank]

I knew someone at a party who was trying to elicit ways to wash his vests.

WD40 and then wipe thoroughly with a dry rag. Tell him, Dave.