Does your spouse/partner share your musical tastes?

[Serial_Apologist]

I have a friend with whom I go to many jazz gigs. His wife detests jazz, only liking folk music; so, given his passion for the music, (and mine on the indispensability of aesthetic compatibility to fulfilling and successful relationships) I have often wondered how they cope with having such divergent tastes.

Am I, or have I always been - in this respect, at any rate - too demanding of my relationships? What do others think?

S-A

[Mandryka]

I have a friend with whom I go to many jazz gigs. His wife detests jazz, only liking folk music; so, given his passion for the music, (and mine on the indispensability of aesthetic compatibility to fulfilling and successful relationships) I have often wondered how they cope with having such divergent tastes.

Am I, or have I always been - in this respect, at any rate - too demanding of my relationships? What do others think?

S-A

I don't live with my other half, and it's probably just as well as we agree on very little musically......John Martyn, Joni Mitchell, Nick Drake, (some) Kate Bush, and that's about it. She loves baroque and hates Wagner (and opera generally)......I'm the reverse, so there's very little we can do together musically. Just as well I don't mind going to gigs/concerts on my own.....

[Serial_Apologist]

I don't live with my other half, and it's probably just as well as we agree on very little musically......John Martyn, Joni Mitchell, Nick Drake, (some) Kate Bush, and that's about it. She loves baroque and hates Wagner (and opera generally)......I'm the reverse, so there's very little we can do together musically. Just as well I don't mind going to gigs/concerts on my own.....

While I am thinking of musical compatibility - having apparently got away with it thus far in other areas - watching TV programmes of couples on home searches, I often wonder.........

[Eine Alpensinfonie]

Not really. She hates Tchaikovsky, but he's in my Premier League. We do share an appreciation of Vaughan Williams though.

And I'm not so keen on Paul Simon and James Taylor.

[Serial_Apologist]

As far as musical tastes were concerned, by ex-girlfriend and I were in agreement in every area with the exception of Schoenberg, whose music I could never win her to, until, that is, after we split up!

Now we are just "good friends"

[EdgeleyRob]

My wife doesn't really do classical music (except for Nimrod and song to the moon and she "doesn't mind" Brahms).
In fairness though she has been to concerts with me. On the downside I have had to go and watch the Beautiful South and Rod Stewart as payback.We do both however like the Eagles who we have been to see a few times.

[Serial_Apologist]

On the downside I have had to go and watch the Beautiful South and Rod Stewart as payback.We do both however like the Eagles who we have been to see a few times.

Everybody's being very circumspect on this topic - as I half-expected! So, you're saying the two of you successfully balance your different tastes by means of compromise, EdgeleyRob?

[Anna]

I cannot say any of my relationships have involved a common love as regards musical genres, like Mandryka I don't mind going to concerts by myself. As to the television compatibility mentioned, that only becomes a problem if you watch a lot of tv I guess (not a problem if you have two sets) I think my biggest stumbling block would be a non-appreciation of food, i.e., if someone was happy with a bucket of KFC or, Heaven Forbid, a Pot Noodle or tinned ravioli. I think the best relationships are when you live apart, then you can't get on each others nerves!

[Serial_Apologist]

I think the best relationships are when you live apart, then you can't get on each others nerves!

[EdgeleyRob]

So, you're saying the two of you successfully balance your different tastes by means of compromise, EdgeleyRob?

Yes to a degree.I do a lot of my listening via headphones when we are in together though as Mrs ER prefers to watch telly rather than listen to music.

[EdgeleyRob]

I think my biggest stumbling block would be a non-appreciation of food, i.e., if someone was happy with a bucket of KFC or, Heaven Forbid, a Pot Noodle or tinned ravioli.

Anna, you've obviously never tried a bombay bad boy pot noodle! mmmmmmmmmm

[Anna]

Anna, you've obviously never tried a bombay bad boy pot noodle! mmmmmmmmmm

I thought Rob was making this up - until I googled it. Calorie breakdown: 33% fat, 57% carbs, 10% protein. I see they also do a Doner Kebab one, I daren't look at that.

[Serial_Apologist]

Anna, you've obviously never tried a bombay bad boy pot noodle! mmmmmmmmmm

[Mandryka]

I cannot say any of my relationships have involved a common love as regards musical genres, like Mandryka I don't mind going to concerts by myself. As to the television compatibility mentioned, that only becomes a problem if you watch a lot of tv I guess (not a problem if you have two sets) I think my biggest stumbling block would be a non-appreciation of food, i.e., if someone was happy with a bucket of KFC or, Heaven Forbid, a Pot Noodle or tinned ravioli. I think the best relationships are when you live apart, then you can't get on each others nerves!

Couldn't agree with you more on the non-cohabitation front.

Other half dragged me off to the Barbican to see Caetano Veloso (the Brazilian Bob Dylan, apparently) last year and though I couldn't say I didn't enjoy the evening, it didn't change my life, either. I once tried, weakly, to persuade her to come and see Der Fliegende Hollander (the most digestible Wagner for the uninitiated) but, after I'd begun to describe the plot, she told me, 'That sounds awful' and that was the end of that.

I acquired my (standing) tickets for the 2007 Covent Garden Ring from a man who told me that the tickets had been intended for his g/f but, having stood through Rheingold, she'd decided to pass on the rest of the experience. My mind boggled (with envy) at the idea that someone might be prepared to contemplate such a feat of standing for the sake of conubiality! :)

[antongould]

Not really. She hates Tchaikovsky, but he's in my Premier League. We do share an appreciation of Vaughan Williams though.

And I'm not so keen on Paul Simon and James Taylor.

Lady Gould hates classical music' calling it "church music", so I spend a lot of time with headphones or in the conservatory - but in pop we share a love, like Lady E_A, of the great Paul Simon and have travelled to the murky Midlands to enjoy him in concert.