Channel Crossings

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  • Alain Maréchal
    Full Member
    • Dec 2010
    • 1287

    Channel Crossings

    Perhaps lost amongst the recent news stories about Brexit negotiations, is a directive which appeared some time ago, and which will take effect a year from today. There may be amendments because of Brexit, but I think the effect will be strengthened rather than relaxed.

    Explained simply, broadcasters in Belgium, The Netherlands and France have been angered by the BBC's unwillingness adequately to maintain its signals in mainland Europe on the grounds of cost. Television satellite signals have been adjusted so that programmes are no longer received in the majority of France, and the FM radio signal has become so weak that “leakage” across the channel is now negligible. On the other hand strong signals from continental stations are received as far inland as the outer suburbs of London; reports from Kent confirm excellent reception. Talks to resolve this have dragged on, and in an attempt to force the BBC to reach a deal a directive from Brussels has decreed that there will be concerted efforts to block the BBC's signals entirely, with the aim of weakening reception in Southeast Engand. The principal method of achieving this will be a barrage of strong FM signals along the coast from Le Touquet to Blankenberge, where a powerful transmitter is being built on the end of the pier. The former Lightship Sandettie, currently a floating museum ship in Dunkirk harbour, will be fitted out with a transmitter and stationed just inside French territorial waters.

    The directive, not yet published, has been leaked to newspapers by the recently replaced head of Sud-West Rundfunk's folkloric programming, Hans Niessen, whose suggestion of renaming the ship “Auntie-Caroline” was dismissed as unsubtle Teutonic humour. A secretariat has already been formed, led by Madame Lotte Requin, her alternate being Mijnheer Espadon Bar van Sluijs. It is not too late for the BBC to negotiate, I urge you to write to your newspaper.
  • Bryn
    Banned
    • Mar 2007
    • 24688

    #2
    Pd'A!

    Comment

    • Lat-Literal
      Guest
      • Aug 2015
      • 6983

      #3
      Ah-ha, Ah-ha.

      Comment

      • P. G. Tipps
        Full Member
        • Jun 2014
        • 2978

        #4
        Our French friends and allies are certainly no fools ... Vive La Vieille Alliance !

        Comment

        • muzzer
          Full Member
          • Nov 2013
          • 1193

          #5
          Bravo ;)

          Comment

          • Eine Alpensinfonie
            Host
            • Nov 2010
            • 20573

            #6

            Comment

            • vinteuil
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 12936

              #7
              Originally posted by P. G. Tipps View Post
              Our French friends and allies are certainly no fools ... Vive La Vieille Alliance !
              .

              [ ... perhaps some Belgians don't mind being taken for French ]

              Comment

              • gradus
                Full Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 5622

                #8
                Poisson d'Avril according to Google.

                Comment

                • Alain Maréchal
                  Full Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 1287

                  #9
                  Originally posted by vinteuil View Post
                  .

                  [ ... perhaps some Belgians don't mind being taken for French ]
                  They do if their Wallon accent means they are taken for a Ch'ti, which is a far worse fate.

                  Comment

                  • P. G. Tipps
                    Full Member
                    • Jun 2014
                    • 2978

                    #10
                    Originally posted by vinteuil View Post
                    .

                    [ ... perhaps some Belgians don't mind being taken for French ]
                    Perhaps or perhaps not, but the Belgians are a quite exceptional folk(s) who seem to manage perfectly well without a government of their own for long periods, though they do love to host a permanent army of bureaucrats who, it is reportedly believed by some, run everybody else's governments in the rest of the European Union. A very clever, extraordinary lot indeed.

                    Furthermore, and in the spirit of our unambiguously definitive times, I must also point out to those who fail to understand that the term 'just inside French territorial waters' means 'just inside French territorial waters' ...

                    Comment

                    • greenilex
                      Full Member
                      • Nov 2010
                      • 1626

                      #11
                      Just chortling over this...April fishes belatedly flying over the briny.

                      Nothing surprises me just now, though.

                      Comment

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