A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum

[Roger Webb]

Real name Marion Morrison (Wayne's real name, I mean).

.........On being asked whether I had a card I thoughtlessly produced my Co-op member card - to the hilarity of the assistant

I'm reminded of an incident related to me by one of my customers in the CD shop. His surname was Macbeth, and once on presenting his credit card for payment in John Lewis, the assistant (Partner?) stared at the name for a couple of seconds and then asked, 'Ooh your name's Macbeth, are you related to Shakespeare?'.

[Pulcinella]

Instructions that came with a rechargeable light.

The red light indicates charging. and the green light indicates chargingPlease charge continuously for more than 5 hours to ensure the best power. [sic]

Actually, it's blue when it's charged.


But even more worrying is this:

Warning

Any change will lead to security and loyalty.

(I think Google Translate from the Chinese might be at fault here!)

[LMcD]

I'm reminded of an incident related to me by one of my customers in the CD shop. His surname was Macbeth, and once on presenting his credit card for payment in John Lewis, the assistant (Partner?) stared at the name for a couple of seconds and then asked, 'Ooh your name's Macbeth, are you related to Shakespeare?'.

'No - but you may have seen me on TV as Hamish, the policeman from that TV series filmed in Plockton - which makes me a Scottish player, I guess'.

[hmvman]

Instructions that came with a rechargeable light.

The red light indicates charging. and the green light indicates chargingPlease charge continuously for more than 5 hours to ensure the best power. [sic]

Actually, it's blue when it's charged.


But even more worrying is this:

Warning

Any change will lead to security and loyalty.

(I think Google Translate from the Chinese might be at fault here!)

This reminded me of the instructions that came with a Chinese-made light fitting:

"The external cable or cord of this luminaire can not be replaced. If the cord is damaged, the luminaire shall be destroyed."

I found that it sounded better if read in a Dalek voice...

[LMcD]

Our local rag tells us that we're to have a new restaurant called Phat Khao, which I understand is Thai fried rice - it's just that I don't think I'd risk speaking to them on the phone - 'Hello, is that the fat cow?'

[Serial_Apologist]

Our local rag tells us that we're to have a new restaurant called Phat Khao, which I understand is Thai fried rice - it's just that I don't think I'd risk speaking to them on the phone - 'Hello, is that the fat cow?'

"Yes? Good. I'd like to order delivery of a phat burger, please".

[LMcD]

"Yes? Good. I'd like to order delivery of a phat burger, please".

[Roger Webb]

You may like to order it from a burger bar in Bristol that boasted that it was. 'The place to refuel your hunger'

[Nick Armstrong]

Our local rag tells us that we're to have a new restaurant called Phat Khao, which I understand is Thai fried rice - it's just that I don't think I'd risk speaking to them on the phone - 'Hello, is that the fat cow?'

Could be worse, e.g. this Vietnamese eatery in London, the “Happy/Blessed Buddha” noodle bar…

[johncorrigan]

We had a visit from a lovely neighbour the other day. Her kids went to school with our kids all those years ago. Of course talk turned to how the kids were doing. She told us her daughter is getting married next month in Canada. Apparently the happy couple are eloping - however we all had to laugh when she told us that they have employed an Elopement Coordinator. This person sorts out the venue for the wedding, an appropriate celebrant, witnesses and, among other things, they also offer a wet weather alternative. Elopement ain't what it used to be, it would appear.

[Pulcinella]

We had a visit from a lovely neighbour the other day. Her kids went to school with our kids all those years ago. Of course talk turned to how the kids were doing. She told us her daughter is getting married next month in Canada. Apparently the happy couple are eloping - however we all had to laugh when she told us that they have employed an Elopement Coordinator. This person sorts out the venue for the wedding, an appropriate celebrant, witnesses and, among other things, they also offer a wet weather alternative. Elopement ain't what it used to be, it would appear.

Surely cheaper simply to go to Gretna Green?

[oddoneout]

I decided it might be time to top up my rarely used mobile as a flurry of texts over BH weekend had used up some credit. The transaction at the Tesco store worked in terms of money going on to the (very old - 2008, which was when my daughter gave me the Nokia handset with £10 credit for Christmas ) top-up card but then I couldn't remember which number would give me the balance so I could be sure the money had been added, as I last topped up some time before Covid - I did say it was rarely used, and even less so now I am retired and don't need to get 2FA texts to be allowed to log my hours...
One of the numbers I tried must have triggered something in the system that thought I was registering a new 5G connection or an upgrade to same, and sent me appropriate "welcome and what to do now" texts. I'm intrigued that it doesn't know that I still have an ancient dumbphone( although I did upgrade to one with a radio function in about 2014, so slightly less old) which isn't capable of such feats of connectivity. I know that it is possible to keep the same number when phones are upgraded/changed but had assumed the upgrade(if it happens) would be noted and therefore my antediluvian device's lack of capability also.
I did find the right number eventually so I now have enough credit to last me for several years at the current rate of use - but of course the network thingy will have been withdrawn long before that so how much use I'll actually get I don't know.

[Serial_Apologist]

Just now, a group of uniformed schoolgirls aged about 12-13 waiting at a bus stop were cheerfully singing a current pop favourite, as can often be seen these days around these parts. When they finished one of them admonished the others, saying "That's not the whole tune! You're only singing the middle-eight!"

[Old Grumpy]

Publicity board for local primary school summer fete:

Raffle, tombola, bar, stall's...



...Honestly!

[Serial_Apologist]

Publicity board for local primary school summer fete:

Raffle, tombola, bar, stall's...



...Honestly!

I was re-going through some childhood memorabilia of my late mother yesterday, and came upon a little book of poems and amusing stories with her own drawings, dated 1915, when she would have been ten. In one of them she had used the apostrophe/s in the manner you cite, indicating that this problem may be older than we think!