A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum

[Serial_Apologist]

Or doing an escapology double act?

Takeaway Blues - good title for a tune!

[cloughie]

Takeaway Blues - good title for a tune!

Caught up in Lockdown 2 - it’s the worst of bad news.
I’d be there in the pub if I only could choose,
But I’ll walk down the street fill my bottle with draught booze,
As I take in the evidence of the takeaway blues.

[Serial_Apologist]

Caught up in Lockdown 2 - it’s the worst of bad news.
I’d be there in the pub if I only could choose,
But I’ll walk down the street fill my bottle with draught booze,
As I take in the evidence of the takeaway blues.

[Serial_Apologist]

In Sainsbury's just now, it took ten minutes to reach the checkout with only 3 shoppers queuing in front. The moment my turn came, I turned around to the equally exasperated woman behind me, and said in a loud voice, "Don't worry, I am now going to give a demonstration of how to do it and prevent delays in supermarket queues". The girl on the till was one of the two Somali lasses who work there. I said to her, "Is that genuine leopard skin?" "My face mask?" she said; "If you're asking if I shot the animal, then the answer is no!" I thought that was pretty good . I wanted to say out loud, "It's only the white men who shoot leopards, anyway". I did whisper it and she smiled, but I'm not sure if she heard me - social distancing, perspex screen in the way, etc etc. Anyway, I did what I always do: piled the items back into the trolley, wheeled the trolley outside, and in relaxed circumstances and frame of mind, carefully packed the shopping into my back pack, making sure the ice cream brick (which was beginning to show signs of going soft) was zipped into the outer of the two main pockets.

[ardcarp]

One of my g-kids, who graduated last year, has been part of our household since, and is doing shifts at the local Tescos. What they call 'grad-jobs' are thin on the ground at the moment. I mention this, because you wouldn't believe the waywardness (and occasional rudeness) of some customers. But she loves getting on with people, and being kind to the occasional old fuddy-duddy (I count myself among them) who spends five minutes groping in a purse for money or a card is part of the job.

BTW, does anyone know how the checkout at Lidl seems to whizz items through at lightning speed? Do they have advanced bar-code recogniton?

[french frank]

BTW, does anyone know how the checkout at Lidl seems to whizz items through at lightning speed? Do they have advanced bar-code recogniton?

D. Express says it's to do with the barcodes on own brand goods. They either have several per item or one going all the way round, so the till staff don't have to pause to locate the barcode before putting the item through the scanner.

https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/life/1265666/aldi-lidl-secret-discount-scanning-shopping-packing-groceries-cashier-spt

[oddoneout]

D. Express says it's to do with the barcodes on own brand goods. They either have several per item or one going all the way round, so the till staff don't have to pause to locate the barcode before putting the item through the scanner.

https://www.express.co.uk/life-style...es-cashier-spt

This was mentioned in a recent documentary on Lidl as part of the thought that went into their business model.

[Pulcinella]

On the way back from the Coop just now, I saw that one of my neighbours had a sign on the front door saying PLEASE KNOCK LOUDLY.

I was very tempted to!

[french frank]

On the way back from the Coop just now, I saw that one of my neighbours had a sign on the front door saying PLEASE KNOCK LOUDLY.

I was very tempted to!

I have a bell pull which seems to fox many - either they press it or rap feebly on the letterbox. But I don't like to draw attention to this with a neat brass plate underneath saying PLEASE PULL THIS - as a passerby will probably do so - regularly.

[johncorrigan]

I have a bell pull which seems to fox many - either they press it or rap feebly on the letterbox. But I don't like to draw attention to this with a neat brass plate underneath saying PLEASE PULL THIS - as a passerby will probably do so - regularly.

True, ff. There's a danger of encouraging Chap door, runaway. Such temptation is hard to resist!

[Serial_Apologist]

This morning I was warned about gums bleeding, and advised to get a special brush capable of reaching the gaps needed to help prevent this. It's called a Tufty Brush. I commented that I'd assumed they were running a respectable establishment!

In all the schimozzle over forgetting where I'd put my face mask, needing to pay by card and making a next appointment, I forgot about the Tufty Brush. The new reception staff, perhaps temporary, were curt. But at least I wasn't expected to pay more than my usual for the check-up, polish, and some special coating for ware and tare on one molar, which was one of yesterday's news stories.

[Serial_Apologist]

Our absolutely brilliant Aldi does the same but goes further and trains daft customers (like me). After 2/3 visits of putting stuff on the belt, stacking the plastic basket, trying to get stuff in a floppy 'bag for life' which kept closing the pleasant and polite girl said

"Next time why don't you bring the basket through, drop it all in and pack at the shelf." Brilliant, so fast!.

Another time the girl serving me said "Next time maybe present your card when I've finished scanning then it can be processed while you finish filling the basket? It helps speed things up.". They're charming and superb.

I don't use Aldi. What if the card is faulty?

[johncorrigan]

I don't use Aldi. What if the card is faulty?

You'd be there allday, S_A.

[Bryn]

I don't use Aldi. What if the card is faulty?

That's when she 'calls the boys in'.

[oddoneout]

I don't use Aldi. What if the card is faulty?

If there are problems with the card they have to be dealt with regardless of whether you do it before or after packing, the difference is that the cashier can be sorting out what needs doing and then tell you, rather than waiting for you to pack, then doing the card payment then sorting out the glitch. I put things into the basket or trolley now(that's why the post scanning shelf is small, it's how they do it in Germany apparently) and pack at leisure straight into the car(unless it's raining), and have had a glitch twice, once in Lidl once in Aldi, when the card needed to be put through with the PIN.The cashiers mentioned it, I did the necessary and finished packing while the receipt was printing.