A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum

[Serial_Apologist]

Must've been some illegally imported hard stuff of Caribbean heritage, to go by the drift of the message!

[Joseph K]

My mum couldn't get any tissues at Morrison's this morning, so I went up the road shop and the shelves were empty (where the tissues would have been) so then I went to the next-closest corner shop where I discovered again empty shelves - so I asked them, and they went and produced a large box of boxes of tissues!

It pays to ask some times...

[Serial_Apologist]

My mum couldn't get any tissues at Morrison's this morning, so I went up the road shop and the shelves were empty (where the tissues would have been) so then I went to the next-closest corner shop where I discovered again empty shelves - so I asked them, and they went and produced a large box of boxes of tissues!

It pays to ask some times...

A tissue of misinformations that would have been, then!

[Serial_Apologist]

The drugs etc dispensary at my local health centre told me I needed to visit in order to have a self-administered blood pressure test.

On arrival at the premises this afternoon, I rang the external buzzer. The sliding entrance door opened and I went in. One of the two receptioninsts asked me: "What can I do for you?"

When I told her and gave my name, she asked, "Which doctor?"

"No, she's not a witch doctor" I told her.

[johncorrigan]

The drugs etc dispensary at my local health centre told me I needed to visit in order to have a self-administered blood pressure test.

On arrival at the premises this afternoon, I rang the external buzzer. The sliding entrance door opened and I went in. One of the two receptioninsts asked me: "What can I do for you?"

When I told her and gave my name, she asked, "Which doctor?"

"No, she's not a witch doctor" I told her.

Brilliant that you didn't miss a once-in-a-lifetime chance, S_A. Reminds me of going for lunch to a pub with work colleagues. I was last to receive my meal. The waitress approached and said to me: 'Are you cod mornay?' I replied: 'No I'm cod John!'

[Serial_Apologist]

Brilliant that you didn't miss a once-in-a-lifetime chance, S_A. Reminds me of going for lunch to a pub with work colleagues. I was last to receive my meal. The waitress approached and said to me: 'Are you cod mornay?' I replied: 'No I'm cod John!'

One of the characteristics of the small c is the ease with which it can be altered with the help of a marker pen. Hence, poached god with mashed potato and peas was on the canteen menu at my workplace, one day.

The strange thing was that neither of the receptionists signalled any reaction to my interjection today. I suppose they're not prepared for someone with my odd take on life barging into their quiet hardworking space.

[Serial_Apologist]

Are people more likely to hang onto their jobs if they knuckle down and just do as they're told, regardless of how stupid the instruction?

I ask, having just now received the BT The Phone Book, 2020/2021 for Aylesbury!!!!

One can only assume somebody said, "Right then, employees, get on your bikes and distribute these directories. But first check the district, should you not know where Aylesbury is" - and one of them goggled and found the Aylesbury Estate to be in Southwark!

Actually, most of it is now derelict, apart from one or two hangers-on, and the whole estate awaits demolition, pending re-development which has led to angry accusations that the proportion of "affordable housing" to be on offer is greatly reduced from the original brief. But hey! someone there could do with a copy of The Phone Book 2020/2021 for Aylesbury, surely.....? Er, oh yes, there's this block in the south of the borough that looks a bit like a council block, even if it isn't; they'll be ever so grateful, and I can get there on my bike in less than half an hour.

[alywin]

Lucky Aylesbury - I don't know about you, as you're slightly nearer into London than I am, but I thought we had our last (final) phone book last year - or was that Yellow Pages?

[Serial_Apologist]

Lucky Aylesbury - I don't know about you, as you're slightly nearer into London than I am, but I thought we had our last (final) phone book last year - or was that Yellow Pages?

The funny sequel to this is that I actually emailed BT to complain, and they then followed up with two emails: the first to apologise and let me know the matter was under investigation; the second to say that present London stocks of the Phone Book were... out of stock!

[oddoneout]

Lucky Aylesbury - I don't know about you, as you're slightly nearer into London than I am, but I thought we had our last (final) phone book last year - or was that Yellow Pages?

Yellow pages died last year I believe, on the basis that 'everything's on the internet'. I have to say that's not been my experience when trying to find services. I know that not everyone signed up with YP, especially once they started to get too expensive, but it's very irritating to know there are people out there but be unable to find contact details. Facebook is apparently one way but I'm not part of that, and in any case it doesn't necessarily, from what I understand having discussed this with a friend, provide a single search point. I haven't found that using an internet search is a single or helpful solution as the results are often dominated by blanket adverts for national businesses.
Word of mouth, and trying to note down details from the sides of vans seen out and about have to substitute almost wholly now, instead of the latter just being a possible part of the search as in the past.
One aspect of the reduced number of entries for the general phone book is that it now covers a much wider area. My home town always seemed to be between two book areas and the decision as to which one we got seemed to be quite arbitrary, so we had to ask for whichever was missing.

[Serial_Apologist]

Yellow pages died last year I believe, on the basis that 'everything's on the internet'. I have to say that's not been my experience when trying to find services. I know that not everyone signed up with YP, especially once they started to get too expensive, but it's very irritating to know there are people out there but be unable to find contact details. Facebook is apparently one way but I'm not part of that, and in any case it doesn't necessarily, from what I understand having discussed this with a friend, provide a single search point. I haven't found that using an internet search is a single or helpful solution as the results are often dominated by blanket adverts for national businesses.
Word of mouth, and trying to note down details from the sides of vans seen out and about have to substitute almost wholly now, instead of the latter just being a possible part of the search as in the past.
One aspect of the reduced number of entries for the general phone book is that it now covers a much wider area. My home town always seemed to be between two book areas and the decision as to which one we got seemed to be quite arbitrary, so we had to ask for whichever was missing.

Same experiences here too. The BT directory was always for Croydon. Some queried this once, to be told we weren't in a designated district here in SE19! Ridiculous!! I've actually kept one of my old Phone Books on the offchance that some of the businesses that might be useful are still in existence, and with the same phone number.

[johncorrigan]

Don't know if anyone else will find this amusing, but I was driving to Perth today. Just out of Burrelton is Macbeth country - Dunsinane Hill is there, so you won't be surprised to hear that there's 'The Three Witches' Cafe sitting roadside. It being harvest time I was not surprised to see a sign that warned 'Mud on Road!' Immediately after, near the cafe, was a sign saying 'Hot Ground Coffee'. Brightened the journey no end!

[Serial_Apologist]

Don't know if anyone else will find this amusing, but I was driving to Perth today. Just out of Burrelton is Macbeth country - Dunsinane Hill is there, so you won't be surprised to hear that there's 'The Three Witches' Cafe sitting roadside. It being harvest time I was not surprised to see a sign that warned 'Mud on Road!' Immediately after, near the cafe, was a sign saying 'Hot Ground Coffee'. Brightened the journey no end!

Hot springs - just imagine! - there'd be no need for hot water bottles, let alone electric blankets!

[oddoneout]

Don't know if anyone else will find this amusing, but I was driving to Perth today. Just out of Burrelton is Macbeth country - Dunsinane Hill is there, so you won't be surprised to hear that there's 'The Three Witches' Cafe sitting roadside. It being harvest time I was not surprised to see a sign that warned 'Mud on Road!' Immediately after, near the cafe, was a sign saying 'Hot Ground Coffee'. Brightened the journey no end!

Pity it wasn't Mississippi mud, so you could have a slice of pie with the coffee.

[Serial_Apologist]

Pity it wasn't Mississippi mud, so you could have a slice of pie with the coffee.

Sedimentary, my dear odd one.