Test Cricket is Boring

[aeolium]

where there is never a dull moment

I'm a bit puzzled by this phrase 'never a dull moment'. I'd like to hear anyone propose a spectator sport, or indeed any spectacle, where no dull moment is ever experienced. Would you rather be in a state of permanent intense excitement? It'd be pretty tiring.

[PatrickOD]

I don't seem to be much good at irony, aeolium. I keep trying, but it always falls flat.

However, if you substitute 'participating' for 'spectator' I think you'll find that dull moments are rare. And, yes, it can be pretty tiring. I'm still knackered after 18 holes on Friday.

[aeolium]

if you substitute 'participating' for 'spectator' I think you'll find that dull moments are rare. And, yes, it can be pretty tiring. I'm still knackered after 18 holes on Friday.

I'm with you there, PatrickOD. And as someone who has played and enjoyed village cricket for many years, I can't imagine it being of any interest to a passing spectator.

[french frank]

I was more puzzled by the phrase 'nothing happened'. Nothing happened?! Surely, at the very least, the ball went down the length of the pitch and ended up in the wicket-keeper's gloves? Then he would throw it to another fielder, perhaps silly mid-on, who would throw it back to the bowler, and he would rub it on his tummy or his thigh as he walked back to bowl again. You missed that bit out .

[aeolium]

And of course if the bowler 'threw' the ball, then the umpire would call 'No-ball!' Is PatrickOD a reliable witness here, I wonder?

(ff, silly mid-on in my experience is only deployed for an extremely good bowler or an extremely bad batsman - too dangerous otherwise)

[french frank]

(ff, silly mid-on in my experience is only deployed for an extremely good bowler or an extremely bad batsman - too dangerous otherwise)

Isn't that the origin of 'silly'?

[Eine Alpensinfonie]

Oh. I don't know. With the body protection worn by some fielders, it's much easier to be brave/foolhardy. (Not that I'd want to stand there, even in a suit of armour )

[amateur51]

I was more puzzled by the phrase 'nothing happened'. Nothing happened?! Surely, at the very least, the ball went down the length of the pitch and ended up in the wicket-keeper's gloves? Then he would throw it to another fielder, perhaps silly mid-on, who would throw it back to the bowler, and he would rub it on his tummy or his thigh as he walked back to bowl again. You missed that bit out .

The anatomical area referred to many years ago by the incomparable John Arlott as 'the soft fleshy part where the leg joins the stomach'.

I heard him refer to this when the New Zealand opening batsman Glenn Turner had been pole-axed by a sharply rising deivery at pace into 'the soft fleshy part where the leg joins the stomach' by England fast bowler John Snow. The NZ physio popped out to tend to Turner with the smelling salts and after some judicious massage left the hapless Turner propped up on his bat to face Snow's next delivery. Arlott's commentary continued with a straight-faced 'So it's Snow to Turner, one ball left'

[french frank]

Don't know what you're sniggering at, Am51. And let's not have the one about 'the bowler's Holding ...'

Just been looking up Wiki on Fielding (cricket): I liked the caption: "Alastair Cook of the England cricket team standing in a catching stance typical of a fieldsman in a silly catching position". Quite.

Hmmm. The link doesn't work. But it's Fielding (cricket) ...

[amateur51]

Don't know what you're sniggering at, Am51. And let's not have the one about 'the bowler's Holding ...'

Just been looking up Wiki on Fielding (cricket): I liked the caption: "Alastair Cook of the England cricket team standing in a catching stance typical of a fieldsman in a silly catching position". Quite.

Oh there are dozens of 'em, ff.

Another classic Arlott : 'There's Edrich, standing legs slightly apart, waiting for the tickle up to fine leg'

Soooo much better than F1 which is all 'vrooom vroooom they're off, vroooooooooom, vroooooooom, vroooom it's over'

[PatrickOD]

Is PatrickOD a reliable witness here, I wonder?

You've got me there, aeolium. I'm stumped, out for a duck, felled by a googly.
I declare.

[scottycelt]

I was more puzzled by the phrase 'nothing happened'. Nothing happened?! Surely, at the very least, the ball went down the length of the pitch and ended up in the wicket-keeper's gloves? Then he would throw it to another fielder, perhaps silly mid-on, who would throw it back to the bowler, and he would rub it on his tummy or his thigh as he walked back to bowl again. You missed that bit out .

And, quite extraordinarily, you also miss out the process of the bowler licking his fingers and spitting on the ball before he rubs it on his tummy and thigh ...

Don't you know anything about this absorbing and fascinating game ... ?

[antongould]

Oh there are dozens of 'em, ff.

Another classic Arlott : 'There's Edrich, standing legs slightly apart, waiting for the tickle up to fine leg'

Soooo much better than F1 which is all 'vrooom vroooom they're off, vroooooooooom, vroooooooom, vroooom it's over'

"The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willey" the late Brian Johnson!

[cavatina]

I'm with you there, PatrickOD. And as someone who has played and enjoyed village cricket for many years, I can't imagine it being of any interest to a passing spectator.

Actually, it is: when the level of play is mediocre or worse, I always find it interesting to compare what I'm seeing to instructional videos from Terry Jenner, Shane Warne, etc. and try to spot what the locals are doing wrong. Even a bad game can teach you a lot if you have the right attitude.

Besides, in the States, you have to take what you can get...

[Panjandrum]

"The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willey" the late Brian Johnson!

First time I've heard that one.