Amusingly punning shop names

[MrGongGong]

...and Screwfix is not a dating agency.

Our local Screwfix is run by folks from the "Exclusive Brethren", when I say "folks" I really mean MEN as they don't go a bundle on women doing man's work
They have a large sign above the counter telling people that blasphemy is a sin and not allowed.

So I guess the innuendo jokes are a bit off limits.

[ardcarp]

We bought a secondhand car from a garage run by Exclusive Brethren. When we first saw it, it had a hole where the radio ought to have been. They said that if we bought the car, the radio would be fitted. When we pressed them for the reason for this, they reluctantly explained that it was against their religious principles to indulge in any sort of music making, so that as soon as they bought a car, the radio was removed for the duration of their ownership. We did buy the car, and the radio was refitted. It seems they could not trust themselves to resist the temptation to turn it on and fall into sin.

[Serial_Apologist]

No - I said I wanted coleslaw with it!

I'd nominate that for Pun of the Year!

[Nick Armstrong]

I'd nominate that for Pun of the Year!

I feel I've missed a coleslaw-herpes connection...

(Not a sentence I ever thought I'd write! )

[Serial_Apologist]

I feel I've missed a coleslaw-herpes connection...

(Not a sentence I ever thought I'd write! )

Cold sore?

(I know - an explained joke is no joke).

[ahinton]

Cold sore?

(I know - an explained joke is no joke).

Nor are her peas if she puts some on her pizza.

What's the phone number of this establishment anyway? Including the STD code, of course...

[teamsaint]

Nor are her peas if she puts some on her pizza.

What's the phone number of this establishment anyway? Including the STD code, of course...

oh very good.

[ahinton]

oh very good.

Thank you; one tries to do one's best, albeit sometimes rather cheesily and from a thin base...

[Nick Armstrong]

oh very good.

Yes, near the very top of the hinton pile, I'd say!

[ahinton]

Yes, near the very top of the hinton pile, I'd say!

Piles in addition to cold sores? How very unpleasant, especially if in the pizza-rear!

[Nick Armstrong]

Piles in addition to cold sores? How very unpleasant, especially if in the pizza-rear!

You're on fire today, ah!

Ouch!

[mercia]

[Eine Alpensinfonie]

I think I remember the thread that Caliban was referring to, but I've a feeling it was on the old BBC Messageboard.

I remember posting about shop sign on the A627 (Rochdale to Marple via Ashton-under-Lyne). It was one of those shops that sold just about everything, and was called:

THATSHOPONASHTONROAD

[Eine Alpensinfonie]

. . . when I say "folks" I really mean MEN . . .

You could just say "folk" and give that "s" key a rest.

[Keraulophone]

Where Outer Rim crime lords go for a close shave (when in Truro):