Things that time forgot.

[LeMartinPecheur]

It's even more ineresting, if you're a woman, to watch the reaction if you hold a door open for an approaching male.

Consternation doesn't begin to describe it - because they're well aware of the subtext involving weakness/ignorance.

Jean: I would definitely show my appreciation were you to hold open the door from our office cafeteria when I'm traversing it clutching a thin cardboard cup of hot soup and a glass bottle of fruit juice in my paws.

Though I guess the question is: what would I do if my hands were empty? Not absolutely sure, but I don't think I'd be embarrassed.

Study-project for next week?

[vinteuil]

It's even more ineresting, if you're a woman, to watch the reaction if you hold a door open for an approaching male.

Consternation doesn't begin to describe it - because they're well aware of the subtext involving weakness/ignorance.

... is this actually the case?

Like others here, I am happy to hold doors open for others des deux sexes et autres as Balzac has it - equally I am more than happy to have doors held open for me by anyone. 'Consternation' - really? Perhaps things are different in Liverpool...

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

... is this actually the case?
Like others here, I am happy to hold doors open for others des deux sexes et autres as Balzac has it - equally I am more than happy to have doors held open for me by anyone. 'Consternation' - really? Perhaps things are different in Liverpool...

I had also wondered this; I've never encountered/experienced the "consternation" jean refers to.

[P. G. Tipps]

I've often had kind ladies hold open a door for me ... I even had a very kind young Oriental lady offer to help me with some very heavy luggage at Euston Station recently.

Have I just been extremely lucky or do I have an uncanny ability to attract kind ladies ... ?

Whatever the reason, I very much do like and appreciate kind ladies ...

[jean]

... is this actually the case?...

My memories of the worst job I ever had, in the mid-1970s (and a long way from Liverpool), was of a completely male-dominated estabishment. My male colleagues gave me no support at all when it mattered, but would make an exaggerated show of such futile gestures as opening doors for me.

I occasionally returned the compliment, to see what the reaction would be. It was as I indicated.

I don't think this is the case any more, and I wouldn't have mentioned it, but that the old attitudes are echoed (ironically of course) in the post I was replying to:

I do of course hold to the view that they are far too weak and/or ignorant about mechanics to do it for themselves...

[jean]

I've often had kind ladies hold open a door for me ...

If you're clearly old and decrepit, different criteria apply.

[teamsaint]

I wonder if the introduction of revolving doors had social consequences that haven't really been properly researched?

[P. G. Tipps]

My male colleagues gave me no support at all when it mattered ...

Yes, funny that, I had much the same problem even when it didn't...

[french frank]

My holding of doors for others is in general a non-gender-specific activity, based more often than not on whether it is better for me to go in/out first or the other person(s) involved to do so; and I invariably thank anyone who does hold a door and let me through!

It all depends on whether the door would close in someone else's face if I didn't hold it open. If I happened to be 'in control' of the door, and someone else was arriving at just the same time, sort of, I would hold the door and let them through whoever it was, but especially if they were pushing a pram or were otherwise encumbered. If I went in first, I would pause to hold the door open until the other person could hold it open for themselves.

Thank you to whoever posed this interesting question on social interchange, which I'd never thought about before. I don't see it as anything to do with etiquette or gender politics: just an instinctive wish to be helpful if one can If I can help soooomebody as I pass a-looong …

[Serial_Apologist]

It all depends on whether the door would close in someone else's face if I didn't hold it open. If I happened to be 'in control' of the door, and someone else was arriving at just the same time, sort of, I would hold the door and let them through whoever it was, but especially if they were pushing a pram or were otherwise encumbered. If I went in first, I would pause to hold the door open until the other person could hold it open for themselves.

Thank you to whoever posed this interesting question on social interchange, which I'd never thought about before. I don't see it as anything to do with etiquette or gender politics: just an instinctive wish to be helpful if one can If I can help soooomebody as I pass a-looong …

I always make sure to say "thank you" whenever the person for whom I have been holding the door open ignores me.

[P. G. Tipps]

I don't see it as anything to do with etiquette or gender politics ,,, :

Surely it can have everything to do with etiquette if the gentleman in front of the lady then holds the door ajar to allow the lady to enter/exit first ?. I would never dream of doing the same for any gentleman of sound mind and body.

I was trained in recognising and respecting gender difference by my father, and have never ceased the practice. It doesn't matter to me whether I like a particular lady or not I would feel a cad and a bounder and thoroughly ungallant if I did not do so. Despite my 'old and decrepit' state I would even, at a pinch, hold the door ajar for Jean but, like S_A, I would expect just a tiny word of grateful acknowledgement in return ...

However, no doubt anxious to avoid provoking ridicule from more socially-feral peers and peeresses in the fast-approaching Swinging Sixties, I cravenly quit doffing my cap to the ladies when I left primary school ...

[cloughie]

I wonder if the introduction of revolving doors had social consequences that haven't really been properly researched?

There was a problem in Barcelona when there were too many basques in one exit!

[jean]

...I would never dream of doing the same for any gentleman of sound mind and body...

But can you explain why you wouldn't?

And given that you wouldn't, how would you react to any man who did it for you?

[cloughie]

It's even more ineresting, if you're a woman, to watch the reaction if you hold a door open for an approaching male.

Consternation doesn't begin to describe it - because they're well aware of the subtext involving weakness/ignorance.

No problem - a smile and a thank you to any door holder irrespective of gender - all in line with common sense and courtesy.

[jean]

Of course - that's how it should be, and mostly is, these days.

But when it isn't, there's something else going on. I thank Tippsy for making that clear.