The Last Journey

[Pianorak]

In the absence of “nearest and dearest” I bought a funeral plan a few years ago. It will be an unattended cremation without a ceremony. I had considered donating my body to science, but since there is no guarantee the body will be accepted, opted for an unattended cremation. “Sang- und klanglos”.

[kernelbogey]

Feel free, KB!

Will do, shortly, Serial.

[richardfinegold]

My mother, who was the quite the planner and a control freak(she wrote her own obituary), bought a plot and funeral plan. When she died last year the funeral for the most part occurred as planned except that the coffin that she had ordered was supposedly discontinued by the manufacturer and they tried to sell us an expensive upgrade. My sister and I refused and the Funeral Home ‘somehow’ was able to find the one that mother had pre ordered

[Petrushka]

My mother, who was the quite the planner and a control freak(she wrote her own obituary), bought a plot and funeral plan. When she died last year the funeral for the most part occurred as planned except that the coffin that she had ordered was supposedly discontinued by the manufacturer and they tried to sell us an expensive upgrade. My sister and I refused and the Funeral Home ‘somehow’ was able to find the one that mother had pre ordered

When my father was a Funeral Director he used to make the coffins by hand, something I often watched him do. It's all done by machine nowadays.

He sometimes got some strange requests, as all undertakers do, and one of these was when an elderly lady asked him to make a coffin for her, duly paid for, and save it until the time came. He complied with the request and the coffin stood there in his workshop for several years until the lady eventually died, whereupon my father complied with the second part of the request which was to carry out her funeral.

[LMcD]

In the absence of “nearest and dearest” I bought a funeral plan a few years ago. It will be an unattended cremation without a ceremony. I had considered donating my body to science, but since there is no guarantee the body will be accepted, opted for an unattended cremation. “Sang- und klanglos”.

Same here - I want to make things as uncomplicated as possible for the next generation, one of whom lives 8000 miles away.

[vinteuil]

I think it's very much a matter of personal choice. I would want to avoid telling my survivors what to do on any subject after my death,even with regard to the disposal of my remains. Once I lose consciousness it's no longer my concern.

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Indicating preferences can be very helpful for those having to deal with such matters. Post-death is a time when festering tensions get a chance to let rip sadly, and reducing the opportunities for "s/he would/wouldn't have wanted" arguments is important. /.../ The other aspect is that by the time the questions have to be answered there may not be anyone who has the knowledge to answer them. /.../ But it is very much a case of "indicating" not "demanding". /.../ I want the practicalities to be as minimal as possible - just whatever is necessary to dispose of my remains legally ...

Previously I would very much have agreed with smittims - because I thought it would be easiest for any heirs just to decide to do whatever they liked. But recently we have reached the same conclusion as oddoneout : Mme v's four children have discreetly said (while wishing us a long life) that it wd be useful for them to have some sort of indication as to how our deaths might be marked. They would have no wish for pomp or ceremony or anything religious, but we could say that it might be nice to have a grand meal &c and a list of people they might like to invite, for example. And an indication too as to where an envelope might be found containing a stash of banknotes to fund such an event...

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[kernelbogey]

Coul admin please change this to a more general fueneral thread.

Some thoughts....

Preparing self & others for one's funeral

Choice of funeral farewell

The last journey

[kernelbogey]

Death Cafe
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A Death Cafe is a scheduled non-profit get-together (called "social franchises" by the organizers) for the purpose of talking about death over food and drink, usually tea and cake. The idea originates with the Swiss sociologist and anthropologistBernard Crettaz, who organized the first café mortel in 2004. Jon Underwood, a UK web developer, was inspired by Crettaz's work, introduced the death cafe to London in 2011, and launched the Death Cafe website. They have since been held in many countries.

This article is worth reading and I recommend going to a dead cafe. There is a possibility disinhbition that can ease the difficult of talking about a tricky, possibly embarrassing topic.

[richardfinegold]

I had a patient who became a close friend- we belonged to the same gym and he would whip my butt In racquetball, and he worked across the street from me and we would sometimes meet for a chat at the end of our days. He developed Pancreatic Cancer (this was 30 years ago when it truly was a death sentence) and staged a wake for himself a few weeks before he actually died. He stated that he actually wanted to see and wish off the mourners. It would have felt odd under any circumstances but being there as his Physician was doubly uncomfortable although I had nothing objectionable

[kernelbogey]

.... It would have felt odd under any circumstances but being there as his Physician was doubly uncomfortable although I had nothing objectionable

Did you attend Richard?

[kernelbogey]

Any opinions or recent experiences of Power of Attorney?

And the other thing about continuing medical treatment (or not)?

[Pulcinella]

Any opinions or recent experiences of Power of Attorney?

And the other thing about continuing medical treatment (or not)?

Thanks for the reminder.
My partner and I recently got notice that we had to reregister for our LPAs on each other (financial and medical).
I think that just means logging into the site and possibly needing new passwords, but we need to check.

[french frank]

Coul admin please change this to a more general fueneral thread.

Some thoughts....Preparing self & others for one's funeral....Choice of funeral farewell...The last journey

Done Couldn't see a suitable thread emoji.

[kernelbogey]

Thank you.
My nine year rold granddaughter had a lesson on the Roman view of death and produced a rather fetching mosaic of Cerberus.

[kernelbogey]

For my brother's funeral, at a church he had attended in retierment I had brought some sand from Gunwalloe Church Cove, which we sprinkled in his grave at 'the beginning of his last journey'.