Best Advice You've Ever Been Given

**Eine Alpensinfonie** · 06-04-14, 13:03

A teacher once said to me:-

"The reason you have two ears and one mouth is that you should do twice as much listening as you do speaking."

**ardcarp** · 06-04-14, 13:05

I'm tempted to say the best I've had is from my mother who said simply: 'Never get married'.

Oh well. The best advice I ever had was to marry [the person who became] Mrs Ardcarp! We're coming up to our 45th anniversary and I have not regretted one moment. I can't comment on the grey hairs, not to mention the missing hairs, but then I'm a few more years the wrong side of 60 than you, Petrushka.

**johncorrigan** · 06-04-14, 13:23

Originally posted by ardcarp View Post

Oh well. The best advice I ever had was to marry [the person who became] Mrs Ardcarp! We're coming up to our 45th anniversary and I have not regretted one moment. I can't comment on the grey hairs, not to mention the missing hairs, but then I'm a few more years the wrong side of 60 than you, Petrushka.

Our old English Teacher, 'Plug' Wylie (I'll leave it to your imagination) had a wee Morris Minor which us lads occasionally had to give a shove to get started. Plug came in one Monday morning and said: 'Boys, let me give you a piece of advice. When you get married, don't get married for love, and don't get married for money; get married because her brother's a motor mechanic!'

**Don Petter** · 06-04-14, 13:39

The best I've ever had was on a tin of slug pellets:

'Keep away from children and animals'

It still guides me to this day.

**Sir Velo** · 06-04-14, 14:30

Originally posted by Petrushka View Post

At a couple of months away from 60 I haven't got a grey hair on me

Hair dye's a wunnerful thing ain't it?

**Petrushka** · 06-04-14, 15:13

Originally posted by Sir Velo View Post

Hair dye's a wunnerful thing ain't it?

Honestly and truly, never touched it and never will.

**Wallace** · 06-04-14, 15:32

"If in doubt, don't do it"

It's kept me out of many a mess into which others have leapt.

**MrGongGong** · 06-04-14, 15:37

"Never trust a man in a suit"
"Blow into this end and stick your hand in the other"
"Don't waste your beer calories on cake"
"Don't go out with a flautist"
"Ignore people who give you unasked for advice"

and so on ................

(Avoid Oratorios ?

)

**umslopogaas** · 06-04-14, 15:43

"The British flora? Ha, sixteen hundred species of highly modified little weeds. Go to the tropics my boy, that's where the real plants are!" That was my old tropical botany lecturer, Prof. E.J.H.Corner. I was greatly privileged to attend the last course of tropical botany lectures he gave at Cambridge before he retired. I took his advice, went to work in Papua New Guinea and never regretted it.

**Sir Velo** · 06-04-14, 15:58

Originally posted by MrGongGong View Post

"Never trust a man in a suit"

Never trust a man in a blue trench coat.
Never drive a car when yoiu're dead.

**EdgeleyRob** · 06-04-14, 16:00

Never eat yellow snow.

**Alison** · 06-04-14, 16:02

If in doubt, stay out.

**gamba** · 06-04-14, 16:03

The headmaster who warned me that staying off school during the afternoon only was an indication of truency. " Had you been absent all day I doubt I would have noticed your absence " said he. Comment observed & acted upon.

A new & exciting world opened up before me & became the basis of an exciting & rewarding life

**cloughie** · 06-04-14, 16:05

Originally posted by gamba View Post

The headmaster who warned me that staying off school during the afternoon only was an indication of truency. " Had you been absent all day I doubt I would have noticed your absence " said he. Comment observed & acted upon.

A new & exciting world opened up before me & became the basis of an exciting & rewarding life

Don't p... into the wind!