Festive bloopers

[Magnificat]

What about:

Geoff's nuts roasting on an open fire!

The first Noel
The angels did say
Was to frighten poor shepherds
In fields as they lay.

VCC

[W.Kearns]

Some of the early comments beg a question which returns to plague me every advent when 'Hills of the North, rejoice' turns up. I knew it by heart in my schooldays, but now all we get is some turgid watered down alteration of Charles Oakley's original vigorous words. To my dismay, not even the new English Hymnal lets Oakley's verses stand. What illness infects editors of hymn books and clergy to make them meddle in this way?

As for Christina Rossetti, if a devout Victorian maiden-lady poet could write frankly about 'A breastful of milk' I fail to see why the present liberated generation should go so coy. Choristers will supply their own words - they always have and, please God, they always will, or so the contributors to this tremendous thread suggest.

[amateur51]

Not a Christmas blooper, but my Mum used to tell a story about me coming home from infants school where we were learning the "Lord's Prayer". Apparently I wanted to try these new "Trespasses". I had heard "Give us this day our daily bread and give us our Trespasses." I had assumed it was a new alternative to porridge or corn flakes.

such an imaginative child, Chris

[village organist]

New kid on the block:

My favourite blooper in 'In the BMW' comes from a 45rpm disc; wild horses would not prod me into revealing the artistes on this classic publication but it will ever remain in my memory for the tenor singing in verse 3 "The ox and arse and camel". In the event that you recognise this masterpiece of pronunciation and have the disc would you be so kind as to PM me with details about how I can obtain a copy of the recording - an mp3 would do.

Another that I recall from many years ago originated in a service booklet for one of our Great English Cathedral with an interesting departure from the original text in the Te Deum - To thee, Cheribum and Seraphim.

Please feel assured that any future posts from this quarter will endeavour to raise the tone a little. Won't be easy.

VO

[mangerton]

Welcome, vo. Don't worry about the tone; it usually takes care of itself. However.....

Not quite on topic, but at Christmas midnight will anyone be doing the apt setting F in Darke?

[Serial_Apologist]

Somewhere in among the 78s my father bequeathed me is a recording of Mendelssohn's "On Wings of Song", in which the soprano starts off by singing "On songs of wing". I must dig out the 78 rpm player sometime and give it a go.

At my junior school, every year at the November Memorial service a two minute silence was observed. The year I particularly remember, the going craze was marbles. During the two minutes, one boy, unable to suppress a sneeze, grabbed for his handkerchief. Unfortunately it was in the pocket also containing a large number of marbles, which duly clattered onto the stone flaggings of the chapel and proceeded to roll in every direction under the feet of the worshippers. As can be guessed, it was very sternly announced by the Head at next morning's assembly that marbles were thenceforth banned; anyone in possession of them was to hand them in, and any boy thereafter caught with them would be caned!

[ardcarp]

F in Darke

Sorry...a bit hard of hearing...Farke in Deff in fact.

[Triforium]

from a leaflet - "all meanly wrapped in swathing bands, and in a manner laid" - really should be a comma after manner I suppose.

[fsharpminor]

and another comma after 'and', to be accurate. One school carol service I attended had 'manager' for ' manger' throughout. Away in a manager . . .

[Wolsey]

At a carol service for which I played yesterday evening, we heard from a young girl of shepherds abidding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

[Magnificat]

Should Mr Gong Gong ever sing 'O Come All Ye Faithful' I could well imagine the refrain ( as I once heard it sung ) 'O come let us ignore him Christ the Lord.'

VCC.

PS

By the way, don't forget to 'Deck The Halls With Buddy Holly'

[MrGongGong]

Should Mr Gong Gong ever sing 'O Come All Ye Faithful' I could well imagine the refrain ( as I once heard it sung ) 'O come let us ignore him Christ the Lord.'

VCC.

PS

By the way, don't forget to 'Deck The Halls With Buddy Holly'

But I will definitely NOT sing a-en-gels ........ does that annoy you as it used to annoy the Dom when I was a chorister ?
even though it's no longer my world I still like to belt it out as it is written rather than as it is sung

[terratogen]

There's a certain line in 'Wake, O Wake!' that should be a lesson to us all that just one lazy consonant ending can spectacularly change the meaning of an entire phrase. I'm now far too modest to admit exactly what it is, but suffice it to say that it would be right at home with those shepherds who weren't exactly washing their socks by night.

I've also a recording (from Chichester Cathedral, perhaps?) of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' in which the choir can't quite decide whether 'Now bring us some ______' should be followed by the usual 'figgy pudding' or by a slightly more adventurous 'gin and tonic'. In the next verse, while half the choir sing 'For we all like figgy pudding', the other half respond with 'No we don't!' I've never heard the song sung that way apart from that one recording, but I always hope to hear it repeated!

Then, while not exactly festive, there's always Richard Gere making an appearance in 'Blessed City, Heavenly Salem' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZnPE3G_YY), which never fails to make me laugh.

[Serial_Apologist]

[bach736]

Thank you, terratogen.
That is the most brilliant thing to see at the end of a gruelling day!