I feel very close to Suk's Asrael Symphony. I love it but I can hardly bear it. Why do I go back? I think to experience that intensity, to feel more fully alive, close to the burning cores of grief and loss. The most heartbreaking movement is the 4th - the least explicitly tragic or climactic but - the memory of the dead, beautiful, lost love, the yearning knowledge that what's broken can never be mended, that you can't, can't ever, get it back. If you've experienced such things it can be like a recurrent nightmare - the mind's attempt to understand, to see it and face it, to recover some control...
Similarly in the Andante of Mahler's 6th - "if only it could be like this..."...
But we know it can't.
Similarly in the Andante of Mahler's 6th - "if only it could be like this..."...
But we know it can't.
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