(Abridged version of a sketch from 'Round The Horne' - or it may have been its predecessor 'Beyond Our Ken')
The scene: Christmas Eve in a dark, cold room
Mother: When's that new fireplace going to arrive?
Father: I told you, this afternoon.
Children (in chorus) We're c-c-c-c-cold!
Mother: Are you SURE you gave them the right address?
Father: Yes, I'm sure
Children: What colour is it?
Father (Increasingly tetchily): I can't remember.
Mother: You ordered us a fireplace and you can't even remember what COLOUR it is?
Children: How much coal will we need to keep warm? Will it be big enough to cook the turkey on? What.....
(There is a knock at the door, to which they all turn as one)
Announcer: You have been listening to a scene from the new BBC adaptation of 'Grate Expectations'.
The scene: Christmas Eve in a dark, cold room
Mother: When's that new fireplace going to arrive?
Father: I told you, this afternoon.
Children (in chorus) We're c-c-c-c-cold!
Mother: Are you SURE you gave them the right address?
Father: Yes, I'm sure
Children: What colour is it?
Father (Increasingly tetchily): I can't remember.
Mother: You ordered us a fireplace and you can't even remember what COLOUR it is?
Children: How much coal will we need to keep warm? Will it be big enough to cook the turkey on? What.....
(There is a knock at the door, to which they all turn as one)
Announcer: You have been listening to a scene from the new BBC adaptation of 'Grate Expectations'.
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