Limerick

[kernelbogey]

Yes but the nearly rhyme is often the funniest bit[...]

...as in:

There was a young gal from Uttoxeter
so fair that all men turned their heads at her;
and one went so far
as to wave from his car
the distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

Edit: I think in fact she may have been a lady from Exeter rather than a gal from Uttoxeter. They order these things better in Staffordshire, perhaps. And this seems to have stopped the thread in its tracks....

[Richard Tarleton]

There was an old mogul called Harvey
On whose name no-one could agree
Some said it was Winestine,
Or Winesteen or Weensteen
It mattered in no small degree.

Very much a work in progress, if any one can improve on it I'd be delighted.

Richard B's superb Bishop of Bath limerick put me in mind of

The Maharanee of Baroda
She kept an immoral pagoda
And around the walls
...................................
...................................

But unfortunately I can't go on, even with asterisks, on a family forum. I heard it from a member of the aristocracy. If any collector of unsavoury limericks wants to know the rest, PM me.

I also remember one which Kenneth Williams told on BBC Radio:

There was an old queer of Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They sat on the bed
Till one of them said
Who does what, with what, and to whom?

[jean]

Edit: I think in fact she may have been a lady from Exeter...

I think she was. She was almost certainly this 21-year-old student at the Sceptered Isle’s prestigious Exeter University

[kernelbogey]

I think she was. She was almost certainly this 21-year-old student at the Sceptered Isle’s prestigious Exeter University

What an extraordinary source of recondite information this Forum is! The day looks brighter already, Jean. Thank you.

[jean]

Not recondite to me - I remember her well! She was in my year.

[Richard Tarleton]

Not recondite to me - I remember her well! She was in my year.

I suppose it's too much to hope that she was reading theology?

[kernelbogey]

I suppose it's too much to hope that she was reading theology?

[ardcarp]

Don't be so prudish Richard. We all know what rhymes with 'walls', and I'm fairly sure the last line ends 'bestrode (h)er'.

I like this one.

The Limerick packs laugh anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
The good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Want to hear the one about Titian?

[vinteuil]

Want to hear the one about Titian?

... sadly few these days wd get the reference -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_madder

(basically alizarin [ 1,2-dihydroxyanthraquinone] : plus purpurin [1,2,4-trihydroxyanthraquinone]. )

[Richard Barrett]

Coincidentally I noticed this floating around in cyberspace the other day:

There was a young man
from Cork who got limericks
and haikus confused

[ardcarp]

There was a young man
from Cork who got limericks
and haikus confused

[Serial_Apologist]

I also remember one which Kenneth Williams told on BBC Radio:

There was an old queer of Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They sat on the bed
Till one of them said
Who does what, with what, and to whom?

[Serial_Apologist]

There was a young man who said, "Though
It seems that I know that I know,
What I would like to see
Is the 'I' that knows 'me'
When I know that I know that I know".

From Alan Watts: The Book on the Taboo against Knowing Who You Are.

[LeMartinPecheur]

There was an old queer of Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They sat on the bed
Till one of them said
Who does what, with what, and to whom?

I know this one as:

There was an old queer of Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
As to who had the right
To do which, with what, and to whom.

[jean]

While looking for something else entirely, I came upon this.

I leave it with you, to do with as you please.